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About To Do Something Crazy

Blah, blah, blah, poor me, I can't get no satisfaction. No sex. Oh, lord knows I've tried. A couple years ago I clicked on an email and began looking at men's underwear. I thought this might get me some attention. She even passed by while I was shopping and commented. Of course the models were some young hard bodies but I couldn't help but get a bit "hot" looking at some of the form hugging styles. OMG am I gay? Of course not. But the male body now excited me like never before Last year I decided to get a massage and went to a place that offered sensual male message. I will never be the same. I had never touched or been touched by another man. I loved it. I've kept this secret for a year. I now desire more. I fantasize meeting another married man with the same desires. There's no stopping this now.
Toby2012 Toby2012 51-55, M 11 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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WNOW A lot of guys here that just don't understand that we are becoming a huge number who have turned to guys for sex. I hike conservation t rails naked or almost three seasons of the year - I get to play with a lot of guys and I would say that 90% have said they were married. Does that tell anyone something.

Come on now, you know I took that from the Rolling Stones...Don't you?
Anyway...Ok...I can't get any you know what. How's that?

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear ! More crimes against the English language. It should be "I can`t get any satisfaction !"

Thats not what Mick & the Rolling Stones sang all those years back!
They said it exactly like Toby has!

I know, but it is not really the Queens English is it !

OMG this is drivng me absolutely bonkers. I had the day off yesterday and had time to search for an answer to my question. There are way too many of us that are trapped in situations and dying for some form of human intimacy. Through email I was able to contact a 35 year old married man who has two children ages 12 and 14 and has not had sex with his wife in the last 10 years. He has a awful lot to lose if he were to leave her. And I totally respect that. We did not get to the point of whether we were going to get together or not but the thought of it was incredibly inticing to both of us.

"Through email I was able to contact a 35 year old married man who has two children ages 12 and 14 and has not had sex with his wife in the last 10 years. He has a awful lot to lose if he were to leave her"

Any woman in a similar situation would craving intimacy and sex... but I am pretty sure she would look for man and it would not turn her into lesbian...
It is your choice, but it seems to me you have more hidden issues than just plain refuser wife... Anyway, good luck to you!

You sound like my ball and chain. Maybe your woman senses that you are homosexual and isn't turned on. I think total honesty is in order. It's only fair.........a woman needs to know and she cannot compete with a man. Tell her.........and tell her now.

"OMG am I gay?"<br />
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Yeah, MAYBE. PROBABLY not.<br />
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Bi-sexual? Maybe, who knows? Not even you? (At this point at least). I'm not even sure when I hear the term bandied about what EXACTLY it is meant to mean or if there is even a common acceptance as to it's meaning.<br />
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Another couple of terms I have heard bandied about more recently is "Pansexual" or Omnisexual" as opposed to being "Bi-sexual". I am even more uncertain what they are supposed to mean although my interpretation of it is, both supposedly referring to the same thing, that you are a sexual creature who psychologically marginalises the gender aspect of sex and the act of intimate physical contact between two or more individuals. For example, you might become sexually aroused, not necessarily to erection, at the prospect of, say, wrestling nude with another man (think of Oliver Reed and Alan Bates in Ken Russell's film adaptation of DH Lawrence's "Women in Love"). That is not to say you wouldn't be repulsed by the notion of having anal sex with another man or fellating him or even just getting into mutual mast urbation. Put another way, your sexuality has the potential to be an open ex<x>pression of your uniqueness to yourself. Hardly THAT big a surprise on calm, considered reflection. Even hardcore heterosexual men sometimes have an aversion to anal sex with their female partners and not because they are necessarily conditioned to regard the act as 'gay', irrespective of the actual context.<br />
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You may be actually luckier than most men by being more psychologically open to your true sexual nature. Many men, and women for that matter, possibly regard their latent sexual potential to be a closed book to themselves because of external influences and conditioning.<br />
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I would suggest you not let those external influences to continue to try to inhibit that unless you see purpose or advantage for you in it, rather than them. It doesn't sound as if you are going to anyway.<br />
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Baz rightly says it won't fix your marriage problems. It may even exacerbate them. However, I think it is largely a separate issue. Maybe your marriage problems have revealed a little silver lining in a grey cloud that would otherwise never have been recognised.<br />
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Exercise the good sense you would do if 'merely' a 100% hardcore vanilla heterosexual.<br />
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I have absolutely no idea whether you should tell your wife or not, now or later. That is the simple truth.

If the wife needs to know. But chances are she already knows on some level. She aint putting out for this member. Could she possibly sense that he likes men? Better this come out rather than years down the road.

No, I am not one of those religious fundies who has issues with homosexuality. I just think honesty is a good policy especially if this new discovery leads him to experimenting and than putting spouse at risk of catching AIDS. That is real.

Looks like you have discovered your Gay feelings. If thats the path you wish to go thats ok no judgement here.

I do suggest you tell your wife though, even if she doesn't deserve to be told.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

If you are in a decent sized city, I'd imagine it ought not be too difficult to source what you are looking for.
Won't help your dysfunctional marriage at all though.

Tread your own path.

How about discovering passionate sex with another woman?

This is not something she needs to know. This woutd be for myself. I need to discover something about myself.

It would appear that you are exploring your sexuality beyond heterosexual pairings.

Have you shared this with your spouse?

I think sharing is important too yet the W is who hurt him so much. I feel for the guy.