Scenes From An Italian Restaurant

This is me and my husband, too. Thanks for sharing.

You've written your story so well. I'm sorry to see you going through that. Maybe you need to make the first step, make his favourite dinner and send the kids out so it's just you and him? Make it a candle light dinner, try kissing him before he enters the house. I don't know. You're both around each other. You should be able to love each other, and then trust each other. It is difficult, and a long process, but you can do it. Do it. Be happy. Try. Trying will give you something to do with yourself. Be positive. Try. Try. Try.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. There's nothing worse than being alone in a room full of people. You clearly have a poet's heart, and I admire that.

Finding new interests that both of you can share...

New experiences, new friends, new tricks...

Bring back the excitement

I have been there done that... In Italy, at a restaurant, watching other people, writing a story here, facing a person immersed in something stupid and reflecting.

The only difference is that I was the "husband" ! I still hold "that" title !

Sigh, I know how it feels !

Do they serve Chicken cacciatore? If so, I'll come and chat to you and give you my undivided attention. You and the Chicken cacciatore, that is.

Dear LadyBronte,

I cried when I read this because I am going through the same thing with my husband. He is sitting next to me on the couch right now as he always does. I woke at 9 this morning and he said two words to me "Good Morning" that was it. For the last 2 months I have lived in silence every day while he is engrossed in his computer trying to make money as an Internet Marketer, in the mean time I go about my duties as I am now a Servant instead of a Wife and I too wonder where it all went wrong.. My heart goes out to you for I know what you are going through.. God Bless

Of course i feel bad for you as i read your story. To be taken for granted is never good. Chances are your husband feels the same way. My wife once told me" Dont ignore me all week and expect me to jump your bones" I hope it works out for you.

I have been there, LadyBronte. It is such a sad thing, isn't it?

Vivid and lonely image. Very sad. But love is both a noun and a verb. Two people can still choose to love before they completely lose the love.

What a beautiful writer you are. You've probably been told this any number of times. I wish you joy in 2013, LadyBronte!

Bravo! Though I'd have to say that using your iPhone to write this must have been extremely tedious: he must have been really engrossed in other things?

A big and serious conversation between you and your spouse needs to happen. You can either both make the Herculean effort needed to find what you have lost, or agree that it is gone for good. Do this before you end up hating each other.

I left it too late - far too late - but I have made my escape and I am in a much happier place.

I hope you find your happiness again - it can be done. Good luck.

I love the title to your story... Good album and perfect for the story. Sorry about your situation and hope you can find your spirit again one day. Your voice is still alive, uncage your spirit.

I can not imagine life as you describe it. My heart goes out to you. I will try and read more of you. Thank you.

I was moved by reading this. I'm not sure I want to describe exactly where and how it touches me, but it does. Don't let the fact the relationship has lost it's specialness fool you into thinking that you've lost yours. That would be even more tragic.

LadyBronte, thank you for sharing this emotional insight. I, too have been in similar situations with my husband and it's sad because we really used to enjoy stealing away from the kids and spending adult time. No one deserves to feel so sad at time when you should be out enjoying yourself. I hope you find some joy in your relationship or at least move into a inner space where you are motivated to start finding joy.

Dear LadyBronte:

I know exactly how you feel. Some of the saddest times of my life were when I was married and was lonelier than I had ever been when I was single. I didn't get married until I was 40 and loved my husband more than anything but his behaviors ruined our marriage. Stay strong and do what you know in your heart is best for you. We only live one life - and life is way too short. I wish you the best of luck.

Janice

This must have felt awfull sit in a restaurant where all the couples seems to be happy and you and your husband are so distant and you even write this story right there .....i wouldnt go with him anywhere if he is like this, quite enough that i have to share bed with him each night.... No need to have the same behaviour during the day....find someone to be happy with

This is so sad...the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Have you reached the tipping point?
But I do understand, sometimes when you are married for so long, you just run out of things to say to one another, or you keep talking about the same old things, or
you talked about practical things that need doing (like the bills, money or the house), or the children but never *about us*
IMO, some people have affairs because they wanted to recapture that feelings again and the *spark* that has gone from their marriage. They want to feel ALIVE again.

Talk to him, tell him how you feel..most likely he is feeling the same way too. Try to reconnect again if you can..

PS: Switch off that damned mobile phones when you out at a restaurant!!!

Oh my! This shouldn't have happened with you. You come across as such a generous, loving and kind hearted person. Looking back in time and in the future for the other couples is so philosophical.

So sorry- I do know how it feels. But for me it's a bit different. She puts on the show of a happy marriage in public, but at home, there is no sense of the responsibility to maintain the relationship. She just pretends everything is swell without lifting a finger to show love or affection. I signed up for a life of growing a marriage. She, apparently decided on the wrinkle-free version. Just wash and wear. No care required.

Sad. I've been there myself. Now I sit alone.

It's true, isn't it? We all believe we will stay blissfully happy....

But people DO change...our lives DO change....it's just such a shame that we don't always change in the same direction as the other....I, too, understand this....too well, it seems....

I wish you happiness...we all deserve that much...

This posting is a beautiful sentiment though.....very nicely written.....thank you for sharing....

Thought provoking. My wife is not a good conversationalist unless it involves her work, so when we go out we end up not talking much because I've heard her stories and complaints so many times before.

sad but a way of many peoples lives... if the spark isnt kept glowing the fire dies out.... sometimes a little breeze can reignight the flame but will soon return to ashes unless more fuel and care is added... dont let the embers go out if you can help them ....entice them back to their rightful place within your heart and his.

LadyBronte, I'm there with you. I can't count the number of times I've looked at my wife during any social gathering whether it be friends or family...or just the two of us....and seen that she is completely intranced by something on her phone. We've only been together five years...and i being in my 40's feel the same disgust with where we've wound up. We have grown so far apart in every aspect of our life. If it's not the phone keeping her from engaging in conversation with me or friends or family, it's some new cause she has adopted and jumped into. This usually only lasts a few days until the phone takes her attention again and keeps her from accomplishing anything in her new cause. Then shortly...she's on to a new cause. My family family can count on the fact that they can't count on her to contribute to any family event, even though she places responsibility for our personal events onto my family to complete. It's a viscious circle.

Wow your story is very emotional. I thought of something similar the other day, how couples get together thinking they will always be as happy as they are right now...and of course it usually always changes. People change, feelings change, change is constant.

I agree with cactusrose, perhaps your husband is stuck in an emotional rut. I hope you two can recapture the feelings you had during happier times. It can happen.

I know that feeling and it hurts. Keep on communicating you never know. Sometimes the other person is feeling the same way.

Loved your story and I really feel this too but my story is a little different, see me and my husband are like these loving couples or at least he is, we have been married 5 years and he would always shower me with hugs and kisses and keep saying how amazing I am and how is so in love with me in front of friends and family.... But deep down I just wish that he disappear, that I wake up one day and these 10 years relationship have never happened.... Don’t let looks deceive you there is more than meet the eye.
One more thing, if you are feeling this there is big chance he is feeling this too , you are one . try to reach to him , maybe he will respond