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Here's My Deal

It's been four years we've been married. It seems unnatural to not have sex after such a short time. But he's not the man he was. He stopped taking care if himself which in turn gave him health problems. He knows he's done it to himself and he's knows he's being lazy. I just wonder if he moved me away from all I know on purpose. Took me away from all that loved me so he would have someone to do the grown up chores so he could eat sleep fish hunt and watch tv. He doesn't work, but I do. I also go to school, tale care of the finances, clean the house, take care of things that need to be fixed all while he sits and enjoys his early retirement. And still no sex.
Ridethewave73 Ridethewave73 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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Wow you have no relationship. Just face it. Let me know when your available I been looking for a good woman.. : ) I even suspect he has a woman on the side now. It sounds soooo typical to me. I don't even know him any eaither. This sounds text book. Something is rotten in denmark here... So figure it out or call it quits move on to someone who will really deeply love you.....

Ya we really don't have a relationship. We are roommates like everyone else on here complains about. You know I used to wonder if he had something on the side because of his lack of interest but honestly I think he's just lazy plain and simple. He'd rather take care of himself than put in any effort with someone else.

Well when you get single let me know I want to stand in line to get you. : )
Just mabey that made you smile today. Ya theres someone in the world that actually wants you for good reasons too. You sound like a good woman who just got a bad deal. Let me know when the divorce is final. : )

Lol yes it did make me smile. Thank you for that!!

;) Your Welcome. Let me know what happens. :)

Will do. ;). There needs to be more like you in the world!

Awwwww Thanks for that. Thats sweet to say. : )

Did I get a smile out of you?

Yes you did. : ) I love love love very sweet and kind gals.
Hoping to find a great one to get to keep down thru the years.
I have been getting alot of unfaithful gals in the past so Now I am wanting someone who is super faithful and will be very kind/caring to me.

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i hate the way my relationship has dissolved " wish I could say evolved" pver the last 26 years. I can take a lot, but this guy is loving andkind to everyone else but me. He actually called me out in line at an office depot. Screaming at me to the point I glared at him, made the checkout very uncomfortable, and went home ssssssseeeeething..........
at my age, I figure I should know better, but he is such an *******, a loser since his near death experience, all input to him now is just extra info that he does not want, nor hear. The maitre d at our NEw YORk outing at Thanksgiving said, HAPPY WIFE< HAPPY LIFE. HE laughes and believes not a word of it. I drink my wine and simmer to tell him it is the truth -m but he is so self absorbded and into himself, it doesn't matter. I am going to get out soon. I HOPE> it took me along time to even think this, I am a weak . but getting stronger , woman.THere is a happier life for me, us, without each other.

I think you and I are married to narcissists!

Thank you for the advice. This is definitely something that I've been trying to figure out how to do. But I'm also trying to be careful and not screw myself in the process. I'm pissed that I fell into this in the first place.

Ditto to what everyone else has said.

The irony is what many of us live: he will not turn around and support YOU if the shoe ends up on the other foot. How do you think it feels when you are laid off, out of work 2 years, with 2 kids, and the lazy SOB doesn't add a red cent to the household above what he was paying when you were making 60/40?

Some people are out there to take advantage of you. You married one. Hard to swallow, and it took me over 10 years to figure it out. Don't be me.

Get out whilst you're still young!, there's a big bright world out there waiting to embrace you with happier times.

<p>Eventually you will, in addition to doing everything else while he enjoys his retirement - end up being his caregiver when his health fails.</P><br />
<p>Do not count on an early death to get rid of him either. Despite years of neglect and outright abuse of their own bodies - with today's medical care they hang on for a much longer period relative to days gone by.</P><br />
<p>A better bet is to get yourself a plan in place, see an attorney, and get rid of him legally.</P>

Yea, if you don't have kids the consensus, which I support, is to dump this dude. Why do this of nothing good comes of it? Is he a lot older?

No he is 42. He retired from the military in 2008.

He's a lazy sack of ****. Get out before you die inside. Trust me, I'm there already and it's a bitter way to live.

You didn't mention kids, so my advice is get out quick. I have been in a neglectful relationship for 25 years, and I should have left in the first few years. Go and find your happiness. I am just planning to find mine.

I don't know what state you live in, but the sooner you get out of this situation, the less it will cost you financially in the long run. By establishing a pattern of supporting him, you can end up having to pay him spousal support if you get divorced. Been there. Done that.

You hold all the power here. Quite honestly you have bought all this on yourself. You have given this voulcher a free ride and tolerated his life long holiday at your expense both personally, and financially.

Simple get legal advice cut him off financially, emotionally, whatever, and let him fend for himself completely.

Stay Strong &amp; Good Luck

Figure out a a way to go &amp; go!

GibbySan's nailed it. Or, alternatively, he's got himself a free ride combined with a janitor.

This is a bit radical for a solution, but why don't you, while he's away hunting and fishing, pack your suitcase and move into a different appartment for a good long while -- or for good. Stop paying his free lunch, doing his laundry and paying the rent on the other place. See what happens ....

-P.

You got yourself a leech.

Very hard to get rid of a leech once they have attached and start sucking the life out of you. Unless they bleed you dry. Then they leave of their own volition, to seek another host.

You'll have to end this. The leech will try and oppose that every step of the way.

Tread your own path.

too bad.... :(