Its Certainly Devolved

she now lives downstairs in her own room, i stayed up stairs in the previous shared bedroom, im retired from work, shes got a part time job, her own life. as do i we do nothing together unless its something about our two kids ie son has a 21 birthday coming up well both go to dinner with him. naturall there is no sex between us, although i do miss it a lot, i crave a cuddle more than anything else and to be kissed and held, i even miss handholding. im so desperate ive even tried loffing onto dating sites, you never know? i dont know how it will end? we both love living in our mutually owned house with water views and location, my superannuation fund provides a similar income to her job so we both contribute!unless either of us finds another partner i can see this continuing infinitum?
stephenj stephenj
56-60, M
4 Responses Nov 20, 2012

the legal position in australia is pretty straightforward, resonably fair but definity weighted towards the woman in some respects? its a 50/50 split, of everything, even though i was the one who gre the superannuation account through 34 years at qantas and i was the one who put in my inheritance into the house extensions! however i cant argue she has been a good mother to our two now adult children and with the exception of having an affair a long time ago has been fairly straight with me?problem is my super account and the proceeds of the house are the only things i have to live off for the rest of my life except thankfully in australia i will get an aged pension in about 4 years time around $220 a week plus lots of discounts! so after the inevitable split ill be able to live , i just wont be able to affors to but a place of my own, even a unit?since my brother always bludged off me maybe i should move in with him and return the favor? or i could go live in thailand, cheap can live on my australian pension there easily? but i dont want a thai wife to replace the current austrian version!

You poor man. You put up with her affair. It is highly possible she is having one again.

Have you had legal advice?

Stay Strong & Good Luck

Maybe she already has someone maybe not. You do however have a choice to make.

I fully understand what you mean about nice house views etc, but the financial hit you might take today might look like a friging bargain tomorrow when you are free and find love again.

Perhaps it is time you seeked legal advice found out your rights and made it clear that you will no longer tolerate this co - existence with her.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

I can relate. We still share a bedroom but only for sleeping! He has a mancave in the basement level that he spends all of his time in, lying in his recliner watching TV. I am generally up in the kitchen, sitting at the counter, or working on my computer, or puttering around upstairs. Our house is large so it feels like we live in separate universes. Tonight I have no reason to be in bed early. We have the rest of the week off for the holiday, so I don't have to get up. But I am here, in bed, alone...hubby is downtown at his favorite watering hole with work friends. I was half-heartlessly invited as an afterthought, when he heard the disappointment in my voice at the news he was going out tonight (again...) So tired of being alone.

Oops...half-heartedly, not heartlessly!!!

Yep. I can identify with that (my story "Recognise Reality" might be worth a read for you) as what you describe was pretty much me for the last 10 years of my dysfunctional marriage.

Be aware, that life can turn on a dime though.

Mine did, when I joined this group in Feb 2009. By Oct 2009 I was out.

Tread your own path.

thanks ate, i dont see a big future for our marriage? id love to read your story if you can send me a link?ill try searchibg for it