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Why Can't I Just Do It Too?

Here's my story. I've been married for 6 years. With very little sex and physical contact. Partly because I got fat after having my son. Partly because we moved in with his mom after 2 yrs of marriage. The other part because after 3 yrs I gave up trying to get it.
Now there apparently are no medical problems with him seeing as he can go online and get all of the cyber sex and attention from those girls. Sharing videos, pictures and chats.
This makes me depressed seeing as he hasn't even told me I am pretty in I can't even remember how long.
Recently he has been talking to an ex of his online and told her that if there is anything he can do for her, he would gladly do it.
I wish I could just be careless with his emotions ad just satisfy my needs online or just leave.
I wish I knew why I was so scared to leave.
When I try to talk to him about leaving he brings our son into it and says things like doesn't our son deserve to have two parents and I'm being selfish.
I'm too stupid to realize that this is an abusive relationship.
I never have any money because he won't let me have any. I have no identification such has an I.d or ss card I can't drive to go get it and if I did I'm not allowed to have a car. But if I want to I can walk its only a 4 hour walk to town.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Snappydragon Snappydragon 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 21, 2012

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I agree with others. I had the same kind of controlling relationship with my mother. When I would not comply with her way of thinking she beat me. I left and friends helped me get to a woman's shelter. That is the best thing you can do for yourself and your son. Call them. They can come get you.

No ID or license? That's just not right. You have every right to be able to come and go as you please. I'll repeat what everyone else has said. Go to a women's shelter. Use Google to find one in your town.

the best way to help your son is to teach him respect for women. staying in this abusive situation will teach him the opposite! you may be surprised how quickly he even learns to mimic his dads behaviors and starts abusing you too.
seek family, friends, shelters.

You might not know what to do, but there are others who DO.

I recommend you contact a women's shelter - they can get you started on the path towards being an autonomous adult. Your husband isolating you so you are dependent upon him - this is abuse.

You can't do anything right now because you lack skills, credentials (that means proper identification, a social security number to get you into the system, etc) and a plan.

Make that call.

Most people stay (personal opinion) is because they have not created a viable alternative to the shithole they have been manipulated into.

Contacting your nearest womens shelter could be a pivotal and vital part of you starting to construct a viable alternative.

Tread your own path.

I agree with Zsuzsilowinger. Contact your local women's shelter and get as far away from this tool as possible.

Once you are far away than you can seek legal advice and claim what is rightfully yours.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

Contact your local women's shelter. You are right, you are in an abusive situation. Your local women's shelter will/should be able to help you. Part of being in an abusive situation is that often the abuser will make you feel too scared to leave.

I urge you to consider what lessons you will teaching your child by staying in such a situaiton.

Here are a list of other resources: http://help.experienceproject.com/customer/portal/articles/391568-what-if-another-member-or-myself-is-in-crisis-

i am sorry for you, can you move back at your parents house and start all over again? like get your id, a part time job, your driverĀ“s license, a car, an education to be economically independent? this sounds like a lot but if you take one step at the time it is possible.
good luck