His ParentingI've been cringing almost every time he's well enough to be with the kids, and I think I've figured out the problem.
When I met him, he was "Uncle ____", the best uncle who got all his dozen nieces and nephews tons of toys at Xmas, took them out to movies, etc. I thought that was super sweet at the time! Didn't realize he was almost $6K in debt from teh Xmas presents he was always buying!
Well, he's STILL "Uncle ____", but to his OWN kids. This morning, he feels better so he gets up, "Let's have CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES this mornign!!!" I'm like, they'll eat pancakes as a treat without the chocolate, we're trying to ween them off Hallowe'en candy, WHY are you putting chocolate into their pancakes?
And then it hits me - he HAS to be the "BEST UNCLE" ALL THE TIME. TO HIS OWN KIDS.
It's all FUN. There's no RESPONSIBILITY. Soon as you mention "let's put money away for their RESPs (education)", or "Let's eat more vegetables", or "let's get them a healthy snack this morning", or "let's plan for their future", it falls on deaf ears.
Anyone else in this bizarre situation? Should I just be happy he's taking an interest in the kids (albeit not consistantly as he's sick most of the time)?
CONTINUATION: he took the kids out this morning to "give me a break - have fun!" (I worked on the insurance forms FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY this morning, that's MY fun time). He then bought them McD's on the way home with the toys. He gets home and says when he sees my face "I tried to talk them out of it but they insisted!"
I lost it and told him "YOU ARE THERE FATHER. YOU DO NOT NEED TO 'CONVINCE' THEM. YOU JUST TAKE THEM TO A DELI INSTEAD AND HAND THEM A SANDWICH OR BRING THEM HOME".
He'll NEVER get it. He really won't.
zsuzsilowinger 36-40, F 8 Responses 0 Nov 25, 2012