Besides Actual Sex... What Do You Miss Most?

i would be lying if i said i never miss having sex with my husband, just not true. but my heart aches for the intimacy and sharing we used to have. a connection. there are many little (and big) things i miss. for me it is him kissing my neck, holding my hand while he is driving and sleeping together (havent slept in same room in years and nope it gonna get fixed lol)...

was wondering what you miss most?
WhiteSoxGal WhiteSoxGal
41-45, F
12 Responses Nov 26, 2012

I miss feeling admired. I miss passionate kisses, and each one of my senses being filled with the joy that is/was my wife's body. I miss my kind, sweet wife, she has been replaced by a stranger who doesn't really care about me.

I miss most the bachelor's life.

I want to feel like her husband. Not just the babby daddy and a roomate

Kissing and being held after sex.

I miss laying my head in her lap as she brushes her fingers threw my hair. On the same note I miss her laying her head in my lap while I run my fingers threw her hair.

I miss kissing. I miss feeling like I matter. I miss having him reach out to me in the middle of the night. I miss the man I fell in love with.

We used to laugh a lot. I miss that. I still wish we could have one day with that kind of laughter in a month. That would go a long way. Now he's just quiet even when I try to get him to laugh with me.

I'm out of my SM. What do I miss most? Well, when we did have sex, my wife was really good at it! I miss that. I miss having someone next to me every night. But then I remember what that cost me, and I don't miss it so much, I am happy to wake up alone!

I miss the snuggling afterward when you're still undressed and so close. I miss passionate kisses. We still snuggle in the bed (clothed) and we still peck on the lips, but that just doesn't cut it.

I am out of my SM but looking back and thinking about it... I missed the moments of vulnerable snuggles and sweet, tender kisses the most. What I have discovered is that as I've gotten more used to having that in my primary relationship I am more snuggly in other relationships. Today standing in line with my roommate (platonic) I had the urge to hug and snuggle up to him. In 20 years of knowing each other, never once have we done that. I am getting used to cuddling on a regular basis and I am reaching for it (or thinking about it) even from people I don't have that level of intimacy with normally. That tells me a lot about how much was missing in my marriage.

I would have to say the intimacy , the permission to be close, to feel close,the freedom that goes with the idea that you are valued not to be purposely avoided . I think the saddest part of my day if to go into my bedroom and close the door behind me, my wife always has a fan, summer and winter running when she is sleeping in her room, and I can hear it whirling through the walls . She says that she loves me, but love is so multi faceted that words alone do not overcome the void. But I will survive, that is until I have had enough, I have had offers for affairs, but that would lead me even more isolated, and pile quilt on top of lies. There is no way out except death, mire or hers either way would be a release.

That connection. The little glances. The inside jokes. The feeling of his skin. The kisses. The sense that there was a special thing between us that no one else shared in. The feeling of being wanted. The comfort of that one person who knows me like no one else. All of it. All of that has fled now that we are so thoroughly devoid of a sex life. And it's wrenching.

Absolutely true. I have plenty of friends. What I need is my husband, my lover. But he seems irretrievably lost.