Well, I have to give DH points for trying to be proactive. He tried to get his bloodwork done on Friday but the lab was closed. He tried to go today and was turned away because he didn't know he had to fast. So he is skipping breakfast and lunch tomorrow and going in at noon. What worries me is, what if his testosterone levels are ok? What then? If there is no medical explanation for his lack of desire, how do we fix it? Will he even want to? I'm actually shocked he is being so persistent in getting the blood drawn. That makes me want to believe he isn't happy with the status quo either and wants to try to do something about it...but I could be fooling myself again. I have gotten to the point of not trusting my own emotions and intuition...but the knowledge that he cares enough to pursue answers is keeping me from crying myself to sleep for the first night in several.
PersephoneP PersephoneP
41-45, F
6 Responses Nov 26, 2012

If his levels are normal just try and reinforce the idea of therapy, it's either physical or mental.

Yea, he seems willing to take action to work on the situation. That's great! Good luck =)

Why fret in anticipation? The results, the implications will still be the same whether you fret about it or not. I know this sounds trite, insensitive maybe, but fretting will not change the outcome.

What I am really trying to say is: one step at a time. I know that after all this time this may seem to be an absurd proposition but in reality it is your only real choice. Try to accept it and work with it rather than fight against it. Acceptance of the process, a process, is sound logic. What you do about any outcome, at any point along the time-line is a separate process. Try to think about it in that way. See if it means anything to you. There is about to be an interim outcome, wait acceptingly for it. Absorb it when it is delivered. Decide what YOUR next process is going to be. Communicate, negotiate over that process if that is what is needed.

Easy to describe, difficult to live out.

You would indeed be wise to start thinking about a scenario where everything checks out ok, but he is still not interested in any sustainable sense.
Unfortunately, this is a highly likely scenario - far more likely than not actually.

Tread your own path.

He may also be looking forward to a confimation of what he suspects is true so he can say "see, it is not my fault, I have low T levels."

And then do nothing about it.

But I could be wrong, it has happened before.

The worse outcome is that there is something wrong with his T levels but he chooses not to take the treatment for it. Then you know there is a physical problem but he does not WANT to make it better.