Kaeco Checking In _ Iii

I changed my phone number last night and I blocked him from my FB. And I'm slowly talking to old friends that I have not spoken to in years. Some of them were commenting on my single status and wondering what was happening. And I gave them a small tidbit of my leaving.

I kept wanting to believe he is logical and sensible and would let me go, and I kept forgetting I'm dealing with a sick man, who has a sick aim for me. I’m slowly trying to widen my net of healthy support (from where, you are all the beginning and you are all still helping me so much.)

I have gut feeling he will try to find me, and if he does I will file a restraining or protection order when he does. I will do whatever I need to make sure he never gets to me.

KaeCo KaeCo
3 Responses Nov 27, 2012

I second the "don't wait for him to find you" mantra. By then it may be too late. He may find you and stalk you for quite a while before you find out - but if the police are on the lookout for him, perhaps they will catch him at it before he has a chance to do any harm.

Thanks for all the updates. STay safe!

Agree with Enna. Talk to the ADA in charge of family violence in your jurisdiction. Their job is to seek protection orders under family violence laws in your area. They can be a great asset. At the very least if you go meet them now when you are not in crisis and should something happen and you need help, they will already know you and will have advised you how and what to document to seek the protective order.

KaeCo, you are being very wise about this. May I suggest you consider visiting the police in your precinct and asking if you can have an appointment with the Officer who is in charge of domestic violence issues? There may not be a specific person in this role, but some of the larger precincts DO have them.

Tell the police you have fears for your safety. Tell them of the steps you have taken. And ask them to treat ANY call from you as a priority. Put the phone number of the local police on your phone on speed dial, so you can access it easily at any time.

Hopefully you will never need these precautions. But it is wise to take them in order to assist you in case he DOES decide to get nasty . . .

And be sure you tell anyone who does know your address and phone number that you do NOT want them to share this information with your Ex - or anyone connected with him. He may try to get around your careful preservation of your privacy by getting information from someone who does not know the whole story. Or he could use a family member of his to get it for him . . .

It can sound paranoid to take such steps, but you will never regret taking steps to keep you safe - even if you never need them. Whereas you could regret NOT taking them, if you rely on him to behave rationally . . . .