Wife Doesn't Do It For Me.

I have been with my wife for almost 10 years and the sex in non existant.
I cant even remember the last time we had sex. I ended up having an affair
the sex was great but, the drama was too much.
I am beyond sexually frustrated!
What the hell do I do?
CuriousDad73 CuriousDad73
36-40, M
4 Responses Nov 27, 2012

Visit a Divorce Lawyer find out your rights than prepare your exit plan accordingly.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

You see a lawyer in your jurisdiction to see how a divorce would shake out for you, because that's your future based on your story.

You will get that sick of your intimacy averse missus that you will want to leave her.
You will almost certainly cheat again, and this time get caught and your missus will give you the arse.
You will meet "the soulmate" when you are cheating and will need to give your missus the arse so you can be with "soulmate".
Your missus might find someone else, and need to give you the arse.

Your risk of divorce is greatly accelerated. Make sure you know how that would shake out, so you can make informed choices.

Tread your own path.

Have you considerd getting a divorce?

Yes but, not in the cards right now.

There is no easy answer as to what the hell do you do. In my case, I've been with my wife 14 years, married 10. Last time we had sex was on our anniversary in May of 2006. I'm about as frustrated as you are. What I'm doing to cope is to focus on my interests and my hobbies. I figure if I can't get my wife to be interested in me, I may as well focus on my own interests.

Right now I am focused more on my daughter and my work but, a man has needs you know?

You're preaching to the choir, my friend. Like I said, there are no easy answers. The options are pretty clear. One is to continue as is and deal with it as best as you can. As you age, the desire to satisfy those needs probably will diminish. Or you hope it will

A second option is to have an all out affair. As you said in your post, the sex was great but the drama wasn't. In addition, the affair option comes the added baggage the other person will bring into the affair.

A third option is to leave the marriage. For some folks, that's an insurmountable option. Either for financial reasons or for reasons involving children.

There is a fourth option which tends to be illegal and looked down upon quite heavily, which is hiring out your needs. That in itself is fraught with risk.

As I said, there are options. None of which will provide an easy answer.

Definately wouldn't pay for sex that's for sure. Divorce isn't in the cards right now so just need to stay focused on other things and keep moving ahead. Having an affair where I live is hard to do. Small area with everyone knowing everyone.

So it looks like you're left with playing the cards you've been dealt. That's why I tend to focus on physical activities as well as on my interests. It doesn't resolve the problem, but it does help diminish the anxiety and pain felt from constant rejection.

That's what I shall do for now. Thanks for the input.

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