At What Point In A Sexless Marriage Do I Know When It Is Enough , Make Peace, Time To Move On?

At what point do I need to say this is enough, its not going to work?
How do I know that I have done everything it takes to make a marriage work?
How much time do I need to give the spouse if he says he was going to work it out?
How do I know when I venture in the realm of new love and relationships, that the guy is not a player?
How do I come to peace with my truth that this never is going to work?
How do I not feel guilty to leave a clinging spouse?
Wouldnt it be prudent to look for love from a comfortable spot, so you are not hurt?
How do you make sure that your decision is going to affect your spouse in the least possible way?
How do I take a leap of faith?
When I venture out to find a new relationship, I dont want to be needy or desperate for love, thats when I make all kinds of wrong choices..
How will I know this is the right thing?
So many questions...
uma1980 uma1980
31-35, F
2 Responses Nov 29, 2012

9 questions.

Best you prioritise them I'd suggest.

The key one - I think - is "At what point do I need to say this is enough, its not going to work?" - because everything else hangs off this.

If you require a standard of proof of "beyond any doubt what so ever" - ie 100% surety that you have done everything you could have, then you are stuffed. You can never reach that standard of proof.

If you require a standard of "beyond reasonable doubt" then I would suggest that you have already reached that standard now.

What do you say ?

YOURS' is the only answer that matters here.

Tread your own path.

You are right. I think subconsciously I kind of knew my truth. I really didnt want to have that guilt or ambiguity when I make a clear decision for a change, however small it may be.
I want to be able to be kissed without having any kind of remorse or guilt or negative sentiment.
I think I should be able to do that now..
If I leave in one week I will have "beyond reasonable doubt" to back me, if I leave in 4 weeks I will have "beyond any doubt whatsoever" to back me.
I think i should find some peace in that..

I'd love to give you answers that were concrete and easily observed! Such as:
"At what point do I need to say this is enough, its not going to work?" Answer: Three weeks from today.
"How do I know when I venture in the realm of new love and relationships, that the guy is not a player?" Answer: choose only guys with brown hair who come from Ohio.

As you can see, that is not going to help!!

My best advice is to read widely here. LEARN from the wealth of experience that is here. Read stories - current and old. If you like the advice or writing of a particular poster, click on their user name and read their stories. Take part in forum discussions. Add your own comments to the stories and forum topics.

This is probably the best way to find "answers" to your questions - because as you learn, you gather information. And you can use this information to make informed choices about your future.