Is Affection Lost?

September 2006, I met my now fiancee. We did everything together, well as much as we could do together. We gave each other space, talked, gossiped, cuddled, kissed, and made love constantly.

My past never consist of running women, that some may call a "Player". I love women, and wish to be with one woman. Me being not too bad looking (my opinion of course), dating came often and fun. The one thing I miss the most was the giving and receiving attention during my dating years, and at the beginning of my relationship now.

It has been 3 years since I have felt that love from my fiancee, and became lost to how it became this way for us. We have two beautiful children, one from a previous relationship which she accepted the child before I did and another we created together. As family there is nothing but happiness and everyone sees and comments on it. But as a couple(my fiancee and I), to me seem like no more than a roommate. Many times I thought to leave and couldn't because I do not want to break up my family. There were couple of times I have offered to information to how I feel, and was taken for no more than a joke(thinking that everything is happy).

So I devised a plan to keep my family together and entertain myself with all I fell is lacking from my almost perfect relationship. There is a flaw to my plan..... Attention and affection is addicting and intoxicating. I'm drowning in what I desired the most from my relationship and more.....
ybnvs ybnvs
31-35, M
4 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Don't marry her... Be friends... Look for passion somewhere else...

Quoting you here - "As family there is nothing but happiness"

As it stands, that is a bullshit statement.

If you were to put it - "To all outward appearances it would seem that - as family there is nothing but happiness" it might have some credibility.

What are you prepared to do ?

Tread your own path.

That's a pretty major down fall, especially in a romantic relationship. Trust me, you don't want to get involved legally in this situation. You can back out now, more or less cleanly from a legal and financial standpoint. Break it off.

Yes, that is a SERIOUS danger of "outsourcing" - you are VERY vulnerable to falling in love. Being denied in your primary relationship makes you a sitting duck for those feelings to become overwhelming in a FWB situation.

I think you know that you cannot go on with your fiancee. Hard as it is for all concerned, you will need to break it off.

Outsourcing is dangerous, with that I do agree. Just scary leaving because she "was" the one.