Part Of A Relationship Is Sex.

I'm in a 2 year relationship with a man who doesn't like to have sex. When I was a child I told my mother adamantly that sex would not be an important part of any relationship I had. Well it turns out I was wayyyy wrong. When the relationship first started the sex was okay. But now I have to be the one to initiate it and he complains that he hurts during and afterward. Not to be conceited but I know for damn sure I'm good in bed, so why doesn't he like sex? Why do I have to be the one to start it ( and I usually literally have to beg for it )? I've had suspicions about him being gay. I just can't find a suitable explanation for it. Can anyone help me? I love him but this could end up being a breaking point in our relationship.
LiliieWolf LiliieWolf
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 2, 2012

If there is something physically wrong with him, he needs to get himself to a doctor, pronto.

If he won't get himself to a doctor and get help, there's your answer right there. You are WAY too young to waste your life on this sh*t. Trust - from someone who wasted TEN YEARS on a man with physical problems.

You could spend another couple of years researching interesting and unamusing conditions that might be the causative factor in "why" he behaves like a jerk. You would then have to conclude that he had no interest in trying to fix the "why" or was incapable of fixing the "why" and you'd scrub him.

Conversely, you could work on the basis the clear evidence in front of you. He behaves like a jerk. Scrub him now, rather than investing another couple of years into him, then having to scrub him anyway.

Tread your own path.

Lillie, you sound like a smart young woman. You also sound naive and idealistic - which is fine, because at your age you are supposed to be like that!

But do NOT make a long term commitment to this man. He cannot be what YOU need in a partner. That doesn't make him "bad" or "wrong" as a person, just wrong for you.

If you keep going back because you think "I was giving up the best I'd ever get", then you have a self esteem problem. You CAN expect to have a partner who will be all the wonderful things your current boyfriend is AND a compatible sex partner.

You can always remain friends with your current BF, but you would be VERY unwise to marry him.

"Can anyone help me? I love him but this could end up being a breaking point in our relationship." Only you can help yourself... DO NOT get pregnant. Run... It will be much worse...