My DecisionThank you EP. I came here looking for support and ideas on how to survive this marriage. I was at my lowest point-I figured people living this every day would surely know ways to get the spouse to want more....to want me. Instead, I came to my senses. You have enlightened me so quickly, so easily in ways none of my friends and certain family members ever could. They have been supportive over the years-in fact they even suggested leaving him and said things like, "Are you going to want to feel like this in 5, 10 , 15 or more years?" I just didn't believe that they truly understood-they were happy and in fulfilling relationships....how could they get it? It was easy from the outside looking in to judge. But not you. You are all living this every day. You KNOW what the pain feels like and some of you have moved on and seen the light. I want the light.
The light is different for each person. I am still defining that. What I know is that I am leaving. I have the beginnings of a plan. I have support in my life. I have 2 beautiful, amazing children who will survive this with me because I am a loving, awesome parent.
Here's the part I did not anticipate. Now that I am at peace with my decision....now that I am not obsessed with thinking about the intimacy we lack and how to fix it....now I am seeing all the other things I can't stand. It's AMAZING to me, how much I put up with that was overshadowed by this issue.
Thanks again EP.
nutmeg99 36-40, F 7 Responses 5 Dec 3, 2012