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Angry Is As Angry Does...

Just got back from the hospital after fracturing a vertebrae and my wife is trying trying to punish me for leaving her with our children and their behavior for nearly a week. I am reassessing my desire for marriage counseling at this point. I am exhausted and hurting from trying to do too much yesterday to give her a break. I fell asleep at 8:30 last night on the couch and felt no real desire to try and make it to the bed where overweight and angry lay sleeping! I am losing my grip on civility with her and question if there is any amount of therapy that would be beneficial. Forget sex, how about basic human decency?
cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 10 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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This selfish attitude and thats what it is signals that she is a Narcissict. She is rude, overweight, celf centred, and obviously engages in negative behavours so what is it that still keeps you around?

Has she pushed you over the edge yet. Perhaps not today but maybe down the line her behavour will and you will find yourself taking action to end your union with her.

Best to seek legal advice and start forming your exit plan.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

This is why a bit of pressure is such a valuable thing in our lives.

Under pressure, the authentic person tends to emerge.

Her reaction here has probably told you what a years worth of counselling might not.

She is a self centered refusing dud.

The next choice that has to be adressed in light of this definitive information is completely down to you.

Tread your own path.

cvann, the beginning of the end for me was late last year when i had some illness which frightened me. went to the local 24-hour joint and was seen, given a probable diagnosis, and meds. is reaction was anger at me: for making a big deal about it, because he "has some experience and knowledge about this illness," accusing me of making things up, accusing me of exaggerating my symptoms, etc. same as your W, my H's response lacked compassion, human decency, and most notably, made me out to (somehow) be "bad"--because i was (understandably) upset, and yes, eventually angry enough to have a *huge* fight with him due to his continue efforts to "prove" that I wasn't, really, sick. just a hyperchondriac or a liar.

honestly i thought you were already separated and on the path to divorce--in your shoes, that's straight where I'd be headed at this point. she is not going to improve, and your day to day life is only going to get harder. IMHO, ymmv. take care & feel better soon.

My first husband was like that. I have a number of examples of his INhuman responses to me when I was in a medical crisis. (Had to crawl on hands and knees to the kitchen to get painkillers cos I could not walk; had to ask a neighbour to take me to hospital cos he wouldn't get out of bed . . . )

This level of selfishness, lack of empathy and unwillingness to behave with ordinary compassion are HUGE red flags. I think you know what you have to do . . . .

That is just not right - period!

As we age, these instances of needing help may get more frequent. How long will you put up with her abusive nature? Don't wait until you have no other options.

Oh,dear... Get well soon...Hug...

Are you kidding me? You are hurt and just got out of the hospital, and she is showing no care at all. That's just wrong. As angry as I get at my H, I would at least have some human compassion and take care of him. Good grief! Hope you feel better soon.

You should see this as a wtf moment i agree, hope you are soon better. Take care of you xx

She would have been double angry if you broke your back. All that hassle she has with the kids with you in a wheelchair...
I wrote a story a few years back about a blood clot I had. I got the same response as you. Its NOT about the sex. Its about basic humanity. Count this as a WTF moment and dont let your memory slip. Too many WTF moments and you snap.

Yep, use the WTF to propel you to a better future. By all means, write down exactly what happens to you so that you can confirm the unbelievable.