Alias Dolphin Champ Is Still Better Off Despite Everything.Two days after writing my story at the end of April about obtaining a decree nisi for my S2BX's unreasonable behaviour and buying an old trailer as a bolt hole out of reach of her tantrums, she locked me out of the house. I went to court for an order to gain access and on the day of the hearing, she dropped in a counter order calling for me to be permanently excluded ba
She first said that she had been to the police twice and they were writing me a warning letter under the harassment act. I went to the police and they said they weren't, didn't want to interview me and were taking no action. So I confirmed that to the court. In the meantime she has been to her doctor and has a letter saying I should not be allowed back because I had gone at her and held to her an offensive weapon and now says she had been to the police at least four times.
So everything is now clogged up in the overloaded court system and the next hearing is April time or later. Meanwhile, the S2BX sits in my home quite happily enjoying some of my pensions and with me paying the mortgage...so I'm on a really tight budget having also been locked out of my office in my home. This collapsed my business and income.
The caravan park where I am closes in January and February but the cold might get me out first and thus I become homeless.
So I know how it feel to be the wrongly accused man up against unsubstantiated and very public allegations. Cripes.
But I am writing this story because I am still better off. I write it as an encouragement to anyone stuck in a rotten relationship thinking it needs to end and worrying about taking the first step to freedom.
I have lived in a tiny roof space up a rickety loft ladder since 1997. The henpecked husband, the whipping boy for the prince codependent whilst the queen sits in her ivory tower having taken over all the rest of the house and the two first floor bedrooms maintained by the control drama of an emotional abuser; a full on passive aggressive.
It was over three years ago that I joined ILIASM and I have learnt so much about dealing with a p/a person, but most of all my whole perspective and philosophy on life has changed. I also recall learning that an emotionally abusive person is likely to become much more aggressive when confronted with his/her own control drama. The word was ballistic. That's certainly the case.
Sorry you won't find my older stories. I took them of to avoid lawyers getting hold of them.
If you are thinking of stepping away from a miserable marriage, then one of the best things I would say you might think about is that however bad your life situation is, it is not your life and it is in fact an opportunity.........
So this is my current story.
The first phew snow flakes! This is quite some way of life being trailer trash in my uninsulated caravan at this time of year. The pipes being all exposed under the van were on the point of freezing two night ago....now I'm slow dripping the taps at night time so the new water above freezing coming from below ground keeps everything clear. But a sustained three or four days below zero means that the ground and the pipes just below ground freeze as well so next week's projected cold snap could be a problem.
Still I only need to stay here for a couple of weeks and I'm out of here for 9 weeks. Yeehah.
The heating is limited to 4 kilowatts mains supply. So a three bar fire, switching on the kettle and poof. Darkness. Only done it once. With all my heating in the bedroom, I can keep that around 14 degrees C depending on the wind which just sucks the heat out. I'm definitely turning into an Eskimo. Thermals, track suit and ski hat is obligatory night gear along with two hot water bottles. LOL. I still need someone to rub noses with. Haha.
Meanwhile the temperature in the lounge/kitchen just drops with the outside temperature. Ice on the inside of the windows. Morning routine is rush to kitchen, switch on gas fire (not leaving that on overnight), make cuppa tea, refill hot water bottle, go back to bed and leave it an hour and a half when lounge warm as toast at 17 degrees. But uninsulated floor is a much lower temperature and even with three pairs of socks, the cold creeps up my legs, so I have to regularly put my feet up in front of the fire, or find the log fire in the pub nearby. What an excuse eh.
With the kitchen being colder than my little fridge, the thermostat doesn't come on and low and behold the freezer compartment defrosted two days ago. I've eaten most of it now. When I dropped the fridge setting to maximum output (colder), the milk froze. Hahaha. It's fun here.......
Still I shall be in London soon, back for a New Year party if I can fix it, then off to the Med. Four weeks all inclusive for £900 ($1400) is cheaper than living here. Haven't sorted the last three weeks of February yet...... Well if I'm homeless, I might as well go somewhere hot. Every situation is an opportunity........
I came across an ex
However rough your life situation is, you only have to live your life to find happiness..... from the Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle.
I hope you see what I mean.
Growing Older Disgracefully.....
Nestpa 66-70, M 10 Responses 8 Dec 5, 2012