Common Denominator?Who's problem is a sexless marriage anyway? I am in a sexless relationship, much love but not much intimacy. I am the one in this relationship unhappy with the outcome, not him.
I failed at a 13 year marriage, with the father of my children, that ended six years ago. I gave that part of myself away, never to get back. I enabled his alcoholism all the while hating the behavior. I continued to paint a pretty picture and deal with the "Elephant" in our home. When I got out of that I vowed to never be the enabler/martyr again. Yet, here I am.
I love my man, I want desperately to complete him and possibly I do, but he doesn't complete me. We have a long history of great sex and emotional connection; as we were a couple 20 years ago, engaged once, but life called us in different directions. So twenty years later, here we are again. We have a deep connection, just like my ex husband and I had. I am the one unsatisfied. I want more. More intimacy, the ability to grow to one another even stronger, connect more.
I read the comments on here, some angry, jaded, sad, frustrated. It's like we all want this big red "easy" button to fix our broken partners. But who's really the broken one? I am the common denominator in all of my failures, and likewise, my successes. I'm just not prepared to fail once again, give up and walk away. I want to adjust my approach to get to the bottom of this for myself and him. I want to help me without hurting him, because I am the one who wants more. Just a thought.