No Emotional Or Physical IntimacyRemarried after my wife's death. We had an amazing spiritual, emotional, and physical connection for our first 6 months of marriage. However, during the newlywed adjustment period, my wife just gave up and isolated herself emotionally and physically. Although I made many changes to make our relationship work, my wife decided that coming to terms with our differences was simply too difficult for her. I told her things that she really didn't want to hear. And so, she withdrew.
A year and a half later, we have been physically intimate one time. My wife will talk with me because I have scheduled twice a week talks. But once again, I have to initiate the conversation and plan all of the discussion subjects. She just agrees to show up and participate...somewhat.
My wife gets annoyed when I explain that I just don't feel loved. She asks me why do I need "feedback" from her? Am I unaware of the feedback that she is giving me? Yes. I so seldom see kindness, that I tend to dwell on the negative feedback that I frequently receive.
We keep talking. I go to therapy. She thinks that couples therapy would be expensive and not effective. I agree. Only one of us seems to want to fix this. So it won't work. She stalls. I wait. It's getting harder to be courageous enough to be patient.
Emotionally, I think that we share superficial topics. Sexually? Don't even think about it. Simple physical contact...pretty much nothing is appreciated. We sit in seperate chairs, sleep in seperate rooms, and have seperate activities and friends.
In all reality, I don't see things ever changing back to the way that they once were. Nor do I believe that my wife will ever reach a point that we can make this "marriage" what it could be. It gets discouraging at times. I refuse to show my wife how much she hurts me every day.
noneforyou 56-60, M 30 Responses 1 Dec 7, 2012