Ready To Give Up...Where do I begin? Good lord. Is this going to help at all, or is it just more narcissistic trough food for my depression? Is that the problem?
My wife and I have sex maybe 4 times a year, and I ALWAYS initiate. In ten years of marriage, only one time did she initiate sex, and she was completely drunk at the time.
I ask for physical contact (ie: sexual contact) and I am told simply "No." If I try to initiate by touch, I am told to "Quit it."
My feelings on the matter are pretty clear, I have told her many times how I feel, how it hurts when she rejects me out of hand, how it makes me feel unloved.
It doesn't seem to matter to her. The next day after a confession like that, it's back to the same old thing...
I'm ready to quit, but I don't have anywhere to go. More importantly, I truly love her with everything I am, and I don't want to leave. But, what's the point of being with someone who doesn't believe in my happiness, or isn't willing to make any sacrifice to our relationship?
I don't know, I really don't.
Right now, she's off to sleep soundly in our bed, while I am out here on the computer confessing my problems to an electronic cloud, and drinking an old bottle of vodka.
So what do I do? Can anyone help me? Is it my fault (I am convinced it is, somehow)? I know there's no easy answers, but even a difficult one would be better than this limbo that I have been living in.