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Oh God! Why Me!!!

married for 8 years now! unbelievable for me! i never wanted a baby with him but i do have! i never loved him..he always had his barriers/blocks which never made me feel close to him..
he says love or affection doesnt need to be expressed..but as a woman i want my husband to show me some care love and affection!some times i ask myself am i asking too much from him?
we shifted out of country coz he got a job! i lost job in my own country and shifted with him..thanks to recession here no job for me! at home am alone..i am depressed now! how do i deal with this depression? who shud i talk to? i feel i have nobody to talk to..my husband from the beginning nevr spoke to me or atleast if he had responded to me it wud have been great! but no! he doesnt respond too..
been more than an year since we had sex..no intimacy between us..he will give some reasons to avoid sex..how many time i shud aproach him!!!he says our son might wake up or he mite come ! so what the hlell! whan our son can witness parents fighting with eachother cant he witness parents being together?i feel i shud start an affair now ! enuf is enuf! sometimes i feel why am i staying with him? is it for my son? or is it because i have started feeling insecured about my future? did i lose all my confidence?
i keep thinking i should take divorce,,but i feel like a coward! i am not doing that..i tried talking to him..but he starts fighting with me! why and how crazy do men get! all i need is love and i know i will be ok if i get some moral support from my husband..but for him i am nonexisting..what am i doing here? i dont understand!
archiak archiak 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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Difficult and challenging choices lie ahead of you.

Make these choices on a basis of being as well informed as you can possibly be, as "informed choice" is you only way of resolving this situation.

Tread your own path.

Keep reading on here. We have all had the "oh God why me!" moment... but you can see there are 30,000+ of us.

You say yourself you never loved him. Where do you see yourself in 10 years, or 20 years?

I think you need to start empowering yourself. Can you visit a lawyer and see how a divorce would affect you? By understanding what could happen, financially etc., if it came to a divorce, you would be able to better plan your future - in or out of the marriage.

Now you have a child, and you are absolutely right, how is that child going to react to parent's always fighting, and all the tension? Can you communicate enough to become co-parents, rather than spouses?

Good luck.