Three Years And Counting.It is all my fault, I was a nightmare to live with, drunk, distant and a bully - sexually and otherwise. THis went on for many years. Now I am sober three years, we see a counsellor, but we are still not connected and sex is totally off the table. I am patient, but I get so lonely. It had been so long since anyone has touched me. I think about having an affair, just to feel sexual again, but I don't want to risk loosing my marriage once and for all. I don't think she is seeing anyone else, but she may have done a few years ago. I wouldn't blame her if she did. They say if you walk 5 miles into the forest you have to walk 5 miles to get out.
I am thankful that she stuck around, I am happy that she didn't just leave years ago. But I am human and need human contact, sexual and otherwise. Most days I just get on with things and don't let it upset me, but other times I let myself get sad.