Three Months Out: Yes We Can

I have just completed my third month out. I left on September: she stays with our two kids at -my former- home, I live now in a small apartment close to them. It is hard, I feel lonely, but as you can see it is possible. Kids are OK.

We are now separated. Emotionally speaking I am still involved. I still love her and regret that our ways diverged. It is painful. No an easy way. But it was possible. There is a life ahead, I thought it was going to come faster, still have not found a woman I like that likes me, and I am realizing that maybe that will never come, although who knows?

But at least I am not rejected every week. Unger has dissapeared. I know I will not have sex and that is much better than expecting it and find a "Nooooo" after a "nooooo" and wonder if she really loves me or not. Today it is a fact. She does not, she had not for a long time, and she will never do anymore.

Something new is ahead. Not easy, but possible.
MadridBlues MadridBlues
36-40, M
4 Responses Dec 11, 2012

Three months is a very short time - so don't be disheartened by the fact that you are not yet experiencing all the advantages of a new life. You have freed yourself to have those opportunitis when they arise.

Congratulations on making a definite decision and seeing it through. It is great to hear your kids are coping - provided you remain actively involved in their lives, this should continue to be the case.

You are still experiencing the grief that comes from any major negative life change - and ending a marriage IS a negative life change, even when it is the right thing to do. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the grief when you are experiencing sadness - it will ebb away adter a while.

You can expect to have moments of grief or sadness for years to come - but know they decline in intensity and in frequency. And hold onto the knowledge that a better and happier life IS out there waiting for you to be ready to grasp it! {{{hugs}}}

Well done - you did a brave thing that a whole lot of people here never find the courage to do!! It gets better now - all the time and every day - enjoy it!! xx

Am in a similar place. As hard and lonely as it is, it is authentic and much easier and less lonely than maintaining a dead relationship.

Best of luck!

Thats right not easy but possible. You have done the hard yards. Now you are rounding the home stretch. When you do eventually reach the finsih line you will be in a greater place than when you first started.

Stay Strong & Good Luck