Why, Yes, I Am Avoiding..I am in total avoidance phase right now. I don't want to deal with it. I am embracing life, working out, maybe flirting (a lot), and honestly and sincerely considering a real - life affair (with an amazing real-life prospect).
Yeah, not real noble of me, I know, in the eyes of others.
I know what I SHOULD do but he is happy in our touchless world as it is and we have major financial hurdles to overcome this coming year. I actually could walk away scot-free, (as in, none of the financial stuff would touch me, legally) if I was wired that way, but I am not. I recognize the sacrifices he gave to me, financially, so I could finish school. Now it's my turn to give back. Walking away would be worse in my eyes than an affair. Maybe because he could care less about human connection and intimacy, but money means everything.
Or maybe that's all a bunch of BS and I am too scared to make tough, adult-like choices. (probably)
At least I see it for what it is?