No Sex, But I'm Used To It.I've been married for about 40 years to a very nice lady who never did have much interest in sex. She never seemed to be having much fun at it but was never willing to tell me what she enjoyed sexually and what would make it more fun for her. However, she was always more than willing to give me a whole list of things that she didn't like. Because we were both sexually inexperienced when we married, I kept hoping that as she got more and more accustomed to sex that she would get to like it more. But that never happened, and when I finally realized that nothing was going to change, we already had kids.
About 20 years ago she went through menopause and things got worse. Over a period of a year or two she informed me that she would no longer initiate sex (not her "place"), would no longer participate in anything oral (made her "uncomfortable"), would no longer engage in passionate kissing (made her "claustrophobic"), would no longer allow her breasts to be touched in any way ("those are not toys"), and insisted that any sexual contact happen only in pitch darkness. The only foreplay left on the "permissible" list was a nice back rub, and she preferred that intercourse be of the "get on, get done, get off" variety.
We no longer have sex because she got to the point where there was just nothing that she could really tolerate without being made "uncomfortable". And, truthfully, I got to the point where I didn't want to have sex with a woman who didn't want it, and didn't enjoy sex with a woman who didn't enjoy it.
All I ever wanted intimacy-wise was to have passionate sex with a woman who wanted me, wanted sex, and really liked it. But I eventually came to a realization that helped me cope with never having that: there are no such women.
I now firmly believe that when it comes to sex there are only two types of women:
1. Women who have no interest in sex.
2. Women who pretend that they do.
Of course, women keep this a deep, dark secret because they know that men won't be very interested in a woman who's not interested in sex.
I was unlucky enough to marry a Type 1. What I really needed was a Type 2.