To Little To Latebusiness has been slow. the economy has finally had an effect on Vanity.
And because of that i am seriously considering down sizing my salon. It has been something that has weighed heavy on my mind. I do not share finances with my spouse. And he has somehow managed to not really care about my business. But he has seen my stress. So yesterday i began to have a melt down, feeling like a failure. A failure at my business at my marriage, at life in general.
Because he could see my intense stress he asked me what was wrong. I told him it was business stuff. He showed very little intrest. then he asked me what else was wrong. And i looked him straight in the face and said,I am tired of talking about it. he actually asked me what i was talking about.
How could he be that clueless after 2 years of conversation. I am stressed with no outlet for it. I am sad with no arms to console me. Clueless selfish ****.
So today he did the first selfless act of our 23 yr marriage. He offered to pay for my tires. Granted i am grateful for the help. But that act can not make up for all of the selfishness. Can not change the fact that he can not, or will not give me all of the love i need.
Money is just money. It makes things easier. But you can not buy my love or my acceptance of a loveless marriage by paying for my tires.
I just need a real hug, a real kiss, and to be made love to like your life depended on it. Because in all honesty it does.
lunazule 41-45, F 7 Responses 2 Dec 12, 2012