Going Out To Dinner With The Family

Well tonight, the entire family, wife, 2 kids and myself, went out to our favorite BBQ/Rib joint to celebrate the end of the fall semester. It's a tradition and an excuse to go eat lots of good BBQ. It was busy as usual and I couldn't help but wonder if all those couples and families had the same difficulties that we have discussed in this group. I would hazard a guess and assume they have and if not now, they will.

Loneliness, isolation, lack of intimacy and lack of sex.

Thank goodness for my hobbies!
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3 Responses Dec 16, 2012

I'll take the silence to my questions as an indication that what you are doing does not really address the emptiness inside you.

So you are no longer lonely, and isolated then. Its good to know. Has your passive aggressive approach to your spouse worked in getting you intimacy? You said it did but here it does not seem that it has and so I was wondering. So the take away lesson here is that your post is contemplative and does not reflect your situation and that your personal happiness has little or nothing to do with your spouse. In fact its an encumbrances which you have shed. Thanks for the clarification.

<p>Quoting you here (but the capitalisation I altered) - "if ALL those couples and families had the same difficulties that we have discussed in this group. I would hazard a guess and assume they have and if not now, they will."</p><p>On what basis would you make this "ALL" assumption ??</p><p>Tread your own path.</p>

I find this new post of yours somewhat at odds with your advice to other members in the forum. A couple of days ago you advised Ragnadann66 to play the counter-refusing card because the passive aggressive has really worked for (you). You also wrote that the only way things changed for (you) was when (you) stopped playing along and in (your) case completely closed off towards (your) wife. Then she got the message and decided to go get some help. Did withholding from your wife work or did it not? If you did get more sex, why are you still lonely and empty? Is it because her compliance was coerced? Is it because you wonder if she really actually desires you? Just wondering.

I find your over the top antagonistic replies to a calmly worded question quite interesting. Why so offensively defensive?

I do not find Lao's reply offensive, defensive, or antagonistic. His questions to the OP are relevant. We all need a good dose of reality now and again.

My reply was to OP, who had since deleted his words, annoyingly.

I think pfer was referring to the OP's response. I asked the questions because the OP has taken a certain position and advises others to do so. He has maintained that this stance is working for him yet in this recent post, he states that he is lonely, isolateed and missing intimacy and sex. My question pertains to whether a) being passive aggressive has really gotten him more sex, b) if so, why is he still feeling lonely and isolated and without intimacy c) if perhaps his method does not resally give him what he wants. I believe these are pretty important questions.

Ahhh. So much confusion ensues when there are deleted posts. Grrr.


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