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What Would You Do?

My husband and I have been married for 3 years and have been together for the past 13 years. We have always had a great sex life. With in the past year he has not wanted to have sex with me.

Our marriage has been very rocky to say the least and 6 months after we were married he left me and had an affair. We reconciled and he has been home for the last 2 years. During this time he has left and stayed with friends when things weren't going well. Every time he has left he has made a dating profile looking for sex yet he won't have sex with me.

He claims he needs to see a doctor because something is wrong. We don't have insurance or the extra money for him to see a doctor and he won't access the money he has invested in a house with his ex. Still, why would he be looking for sex with someone else? I have tried talking to him about this and it turns into a fight every time.

So he just told me today to go find myself a boyfriend. That isn't what I want. I want a healthy relationship with my husband! His actions don't support what he is telling me at all. He is on **** sites all the time and flirts with women too.

I think it's time just to call it quits and move on.
totallytea totallytea 46-50, F 14 Responses Dec 17, 2012

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So what happened with him?

He has moved out. We have not filed for divorce, but I am trying to move on without him.

((hugs))

Oh TT, all I can do is offer support and understanding. Living with someone whom cannot express their love to you is so so heartbreaking. Stay strong!

I'd be your bf!! Everyone has to do what works for them and for me it was to get the HELL out of my sexless, loveless marriage. I wanted her to care more than the sex so I left and haven't had a better life ever.

Follow his advice

I read your other story about being the other woman... So for many years of your relationship he was married. I fear that maybe he just doesn't like married sex. For some reason, once the ring's on the finger he just can't handle sex and grown-up committed intimacy. I'm sorry. Yep, move on.

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Either way, time to move on!

I agree completely. Break out the sexy undies your on the prowl!!
Good luck & happy hunting.

get the toys out hun x

he doesn't need to see a medical doctor. He needs to see a therapist. He wants a fantasy sex life versus a healthy sex life with a loving wife. It makes no sense to me.

He is giving you the message quite loud and clear. He refuses sex starts online profiles, and tells you to find a boyfriend. It is very possible that he already has a girlfriend of his own.

I think its time you totalled up the bill for his actions and presented him with the account owing.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

You are right to leave. He won't even ask why. I suspect he is looking for someone too. Get yourself $5,000 to start over. Remove your name from all home bills and credit cards. Sorry, the party of marriage is over I feel. the alternative is to buy what ever you want and let him be the work slave for you. When you are ready for coffe, tea or me me.

" I want a healthy relationship with my husband! ...... Still, why would he be looking for sex with someone else?"
Your story seems very controversial to me... I (personally) do not see much healthy features in your marriage from very beginning,maybe you had 10 blissful years before marriage, then you know he could be different...
You can waste the rest of your life looking for answers for WHY... Does it matter?
One possible answer(as he dropped a hint) he has ED... too embarrassed to admit. Flirting with others, **** make him think he is OK... even some casual sex with new partners - maybe more excitement helps to perform better for short time...

Here is a question for you to think about, since you are the only one who can really fix this, but I know we are often too close to our problems to see past them.

Does he have a fetish? Does he go on regular date sites? What does his profile say he is looking for?

If you need to talk. Let me know. Big hugs to you Love you

Indeed. The way I see it, you don't have time to post on here, you need to be packing his things and throwing it out on the front lawn.

After you've done that, come back let us know how that went...