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Just An Anecdote...

Woke up this morning with a condition that the men on this board will be familiar with.

As I laid there in my tent...I thought about how wonderful it must be to live in a marriage where you can reach out to your wife and trust that she will respond.

Then the realization that I am not welcome on that side of the bed.

Anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness.

Logged on to EP.

CravingSomething CravingSomething 36-40, M 11 Responses Dec 22, 2012

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i know you guys probably dont want to hear this, but from someone who doesnt like to be touched in the morning, its not personal, in my case i was miss medicated and miss diagnosed for 14 years, maybe 20 years, so in our defense, i have a mental illness, its not just im down and lonely, now i am getting to the crux of my mental illness and being treated properly, i am working on rekindling my love life, and you guys can ***** at me i just wanted to give the other side becuz it isnt always about you, its about being with someone who has a disease in their brain

U wrote about my life ;)

It sounds like I would enjoy camping... Someday, maybe someday....

I am about ready to head out camping on my own.

I wish my husband woke up like that - such a turn on, and I don't think I'd be able to turn an offer like that down! Here's a question: is it common for men to wake up with a hard-on? or is it random/ occasional? I don't think he's ever woken up like that. I asked about it once, because it's one of my fave times of day, but he said it didn't do much for him. Is that normal?

I wake up "tenting" frequently. I would love to know what being wanted was like. As it is now, if she behaves like she wantsme know she wants something else.

@Ray: Ian Drury rocks (literally).

I wish things weren't so inequitable for any of us. It's sad. :(

it's quite common. it's a bodily reaction to needing to urinate while asleep. don't ask me why, but it is. I'd love wake up one day to my wife taking advantage of that condition, but I know it will never happen. Sad. To know there are just simple things that you will never have because of who you chose. In the words of a very old knight: "You have chosen....poorly"

Physiology aside, it is a wonderful motivator. For most of us. Sadly not for others. I keep getting stuck on your quote. The comments on my only "story" on EP directed me to think about choices. Wasn't prepared for that. Wanted to wallow. Am wallowing. But also beginning to think differently. And *feel* differently. It's scary. But exciting. Sometimes I can hardly breathe. But that's a good thing. I think. :) I dare you to think about things differently. Don't let fear paralyze you. ((BTW, and to celebrate how I'm feeling, I changed my user name! I hope that it will remind me, guide me in my choices.))

Ok, I'll be a nerd, 'morning wood' is beyond common, it's essentially a manifestation of nocturnal erections or nocturnal penile tumescence [NPT]. Nearly all men (without a physiologically based erectile dysfunction) get a few of these a night. If a guy doesn't get NPT there really is something wrong (it's actually used as a method of diagnosis).

So, morning hard-ons, one of nature's joys for normal couples (I only fairly recently rediscovered that many women enjoy waking up to this sort of thing [I want my wasted years back!]), but a cruel joke for those stuck in a SM.

2 More Responses

I was once the "refusing wife ", hate this term , it's not acurate.
Now , still with the wonderful man i married, 26 years together, it makes my day to wake up to him pitching a tent. Sometimes, i'm not even fully awake and he wakes me up, in the nicest possible way ............

I really think people are just hard wired differently. If I awoke to H making a tent on his side of the bed, I would HAVE to take matters into my hands (and a few other things.) This is going to make me sound like some kind of **** but if he pops up so to speak, I can't keep my hands off it. I don't get what it is with some women, I really don't. Maybe I am a gay male trapped in a woman's body.

I think you're a woman who cares about the person you confess to loving. You sound to me like someone I would like to have my wife learn from.

In a April I will have been married 25 years. The marriage became sexless after the honeymoon. Haven't had the big 'O' in 22 years. If she won't go with you to counseling, as in my case, I would consider leaving. I stayed and as a result I have a hole in my heart you could drive a truck through. I'm left feeling unloved, unlovable, and undeserving. Although the kids don't know the sex end of what is going on, the tension and pain is obvious. For yourself and your child, get the emotional help and support you need. No one should have to go through this. I know. All the best to you and your child.

I don't have that problem about reaching over to the other side of the bed...since I get to sleep in another room. I think that I remember sex. I guess it's been a while. If somebody reached out to grab me, I'd give it my best shot. Does it really fall off if you don't use it?

I woke up with my super sexy boyfriend, we reached out to each other and made love before even getting up to pee. That was after making love before we fell asleep in each other's arms in the wee hours last night. I was in a 10 year sex-deprived relationship (7 years married) until July. Look at me now! My STBX is coming this afternoon to pick up his stuff. Ask me if I regret leaving!

As Vaguestbaby says, "Don't envy me. BE me." ;)

Exactly! Nice guy, but don't let the door hit you on the way out...

My husband puts a pillow down the center of the bed to avoid any accidental touching. That side of the bed is like another planet.

I moved to the couch years ago; I take comfort in hearing the sound of a male voice on the financial news and spending a lot of time at the gym

I do that with women. Irrationally hating other couples... Envy I suppose.

Oh, it is NOT just men, my dear. Every morning(almost 14 years of marriage) I would reach over to him hoping he would respond....nothing, absolutely nothing. It's degrading. Now, I just imagine myself in another life laying next to a man that would not even need me to roll over and initiate....that I wake up and it's him starting things:) I know this life awaits....

So degrading! At least in my case, I know that it's not me. He's not interested in any woman. I also feel sorry for him because he knows that I do not look at him as a man any longer.

My wife has made it clear that it's me, because she doesn't turn down a few friends. Therapist thinks she takes it out on me because her ex was abusive. She can't be compassionate because of the word "husband".

nutmeg99: in the normal world this most certainly exists and is enjoyed and welcomed, as a number of us escapees attest (no intention to crow). What's slightly weird is how quickly this complete 'miracle' becomes the new normal. It really is like waking up from the bad dream and getting back on with your life.