How To Repair

So this has been the worst year for us. She refuses to let go of the past. When I saw the past I am referring to 6-11+ years ago. She says she hates me and can't stand me every day. She lets small arguments ruin the entire day. Today it was about who is making breakfast. As I was about to leave one of the kids asked her for breakfast. She said ask daddy and I got mad about that since I was about to walk out the door. Stupid I know but it has now ruined her attitude for the rest of the day.

She has broght me down so much. She says things like no other female is ever going to put up with you. You will neber find anybody to be with. You are going to be alone and miserable. It's what you deserve. She constantly talks about how bad of a person I am. I am a good person. I am not perfect. I do have flaws but I try to be a good and compassionate person.

That is all for now. Had to rant
lifespinning lifespinning
31-35, M
5 Responses Dec 24, 2012

I am curious to know, are you actually married? And how soon after the wedding did she start behaving like this? I ask this because the very first thing we vow to do when we marry someone is love them. If this woman is your wife and she has always behaved like this, or very nearly always, then you might have grounds for an annulment, as she never committed herself to her vows. If you are intending to leave her anyway then this point will probably be irrelevant, but I am interested to discern to what degree people actually enter in to marriage with a clear understanding of their responsibilities, and I am also interested to discern whether the reasons that women refuse men are the same as the reasons that men refuse women.

Hi Lifespinning,

I know what you are going thru since it has happened to me.

It is a living H e l l. So I told her I was going to divorce her and did so. End of story. I moved on and am happy once again and not walking on eggshells.

I got very sick because of it, so much stress on my body and blood pressure has never been the same since. If you are not physically sick as of yet then you are lucky so far.

Get out while you can and you have your health.

There is a good woman out there for you, but take your time for yourself first and have a clear head before diving back in.

Best of luck
Not familiar with it, but it looks like a nice site.

The reason she's saying all that nasty stuff to you?
Partly because that's actually how she feels about herself, projected onto you.
Partly because it makes you too weak and mentally crippled to get out.

First off-not true, you were a competent person before you met her, right?
You liked yourself fine before you met her, right?

I had a lot of confidence in my abilities before my ex started telling me all the stuff I couldn't do, supposedly trying to "help" me...Looking back on the me I was before the marriage...I was a LOT more confident.
Look back at yourself prior to meeting your wife-I expect you will have been far more confident.
Yes, your wife is deliberately crippling you.
I don't say that lightly, I mean it.
If she makes you believe you can't live without her, then she can use you freely.
Guess what all that means...she does not LOVE you.
You are useful to her.
That's it, that's all.

Nobody, NOBODY, deserves to have to put up with constant verbal abuse from anyone.

"She says she hates me and can't stand me every day." It is in your power to make her free from suffering... Leave her... She is destroying you...and in front of your kids...

Rant away, my friend.....emotional abuse only gets worse. I think you know that you will probably have to do something about this for your own good....your own self esteem. Time for a New Year Resolution.
Google ...eabuse...
For now, make the most of Christmas