Hi Everyone, I'm New Here. I Am Hurting.
I am 32 & in a marriage where I am physically repulsed by my husband. :( It is sad, & I want a divorce but I don't want to hurt him , because he's a great guy. I'm a catch myself, which is WHY I am having such a hard time in this....On papaer, it should work. I want to be with somebody that I at least want to have sex with!!! It is not fair to him either. I have not had an affair, and I don't intend to but I fantasize about other men constantly. The spark is not there, not sure if it ever was. We have no children, & I am so torn. He also makes a lot more money than I do, & he lets me know it...(I think that is his defense mechanism to get me to stay..) He is constantly asking me "how much was this, how much was that") He will buy me things and then throw it in my face later..I alway feel like I am walking on eggshells. .I am so unhappy, but so scared.......I don't even want to try counseling because I don't feel it. Please give me some advice...We have hardly any of the same interests. I feel that we were brought to each other at a time in our lives where we needed each other to grow. That was ten years ago, and I feel like our relationship has run its course and there is nothing really left except co-existing.