Another Updatei am in for a really long ride home tonight (snow! accidents! traffic! oh my!) so will post a stream of consciousness update.
he's had some moments where he actually seemed nice over the past couple weeks. was thoughtful about Xmas gifts for me. went out & bought a gift for our daughter. (he does that every year tho). and yet...his true colours shine thru in so many ways.
the 30 day presc
he's said he doesn't "have sex," he "makes love." um, dunno on what planet it's considered "making love" when you haven't even kissed the ob
in the past few weeks of researching so i can be prepared come attorney or mediation, i have discovered some truly devastating financial cr@p he's been pulling. since (the latest possible but i fear it's actually earlier) 2007. the good news is his shenanigans obviate the pre-nup since he's not only been lying but also actively hiding it all from me. the bad news is, i may wind up in such bad straits that i may have to file bankruptcy to get out from under it all. the good news (again) is he may be counting on my not wanting to do that. but i will if he forces me to it.
what confounds me so much is his righteous smug superior attitude about other people in his life whom he complains about (constantly!) as to them taking taking taking & never giving--and how they're such liars and cheats. and how *he* always puffs himself up as so good, and moral, and giving, and so misused abused and misunderstood. and how he has so much integrity
i have bitten my tongue hard enough to draw blood in the past week, listening to him run the same tired story by his relatives who visited over the weekend. i'm not ready o unmask him yet. but it's hard to listen to him. yes he may have been used misused by others. but NEVER by me. and as much as he thinks they abused his trust? it doesn't hold a fvcking candle to what HE has done...to his own wife.
this doesn't even touch the core incompatibilities that we have.
he wants to come home lay on the couch way junk food be waited on and served while his wife takes care of everything including homework with our child and is content to be the moon revolving around his wants and desires with none of her own. i shouldn't even be upset that i can't even watch a show on tv once in a while because its his house his tv and hey he's the man so he's the king.
i should accept that I'll never again have a good never mind great sexual encounter again because hey he doesn't feel like it and he shouldn't have to actually put any effort into it. thats MY job.
i should "just trust" that he's "doing the right thing for the family" as regards finances and never actually question him. (because he's made such a stink about integrity yada yada i actually thought i COULD trust him all these years. what a dupe i turned out to be).
could go on but it's all so depressing and infuriating.
suffice to say i am waiting for additional documents (evidence) before i talk to him again. till then i am shining him on, as bazz says.
it's really rough to keep doing so since i found out exactly how much of a hypocritical liar he is. sigh. just have to add today's update. i placed a block against any further advances on a joint line of credit that he's been using as a cash cow for years. on monday a letter came via courier from this bank offering a limited time zero apr to assist victims of the recent superstorm. he was quick to open it, and hide it. his bad fortune i ain't stupid any more, found it, read it, put it back. he must've tried to draw against it today. he asked me "hey honey did you do something to this line of credit?" so i said yeah. he started to react--get loud. i said, i can't talk about this at work we can talk about it tonight. and i was polite but i then said goodbye & hung up fast forward a couple hours later. i sent him an e mail detailing all the monies he's taken against this line in the past 6 years. and said that's why i blocked it. we can discuss after you've calmed down and not in front of our daughter. bizarrely, when i called to talk to our daughter about an Xmas gift i exchanged for her today? everything was all peachy fine and smooth and sweet. heh. maybe he thinks he's shining *me* on.