If OnlyIf only I had known then what I know now.
Sexual compatibility IS a big deal in a relationship.
There are many types of sexuality, just like there are personalities. I know saying this here is redundant, but it really bites when there is not a match.
Talking to MT yesterday he shared about all the rules he has to live with in his house -- "The Vagina Rules" -- 1. Don't look. 2. Don't touch. 3. Don't kiss, etc.
I thought, that would be GREAT for my husband -- he prefers that.
Not that matching up sexually is a guarantee of anything -- a million other ways can a marriage fail -- but at least if you had that to return to? Maybe there could be a bigger chance?? I don't know...
Not only are there all kinds of rules (in both households) but also there is a complete UNWILLINGNESS to learn, expand, grow, evolve when it comes to sex. Complete stagnation. An idea is shot down, ridiculed, and ignored without discussion and with no concern for meeting the other's needs at all. It's just "NO - we don't do that." Where is the love in that?
Whether it's "vanilla" or adventurous or whatever -- it's a big deal to be compatible. We did not spend enough time with this aspect in choosing a partner (obviously). But then, did we all know who we were, fully? I know I didn't learn until just recently. How do we prepare youth to know thyself so they don't make the same mistakes we have? Not that I need to know -- I don't have kids, but it's a topic of curiosity for me. Are some of you raising your children in a different manner so they have a bit of a head start? Or is the cycle going to forever continue?