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Update On Text Message

This morning, I decided to confront him about receiving the suggestive text message yesterday. (Let me remind you that once he fell asleep, the first time, I checked his phone to make sure he received my text, & sure enough it was there & he read it.)

I asked him did he receive my text yesterday. His response, "What text? I received a couple." He started reading them off to me. But didn't read the "suggestive one".
I ask about the "suggestive one". He said he didn't get anything like that.

Now I have been with this man for 20 years .... I know when he's lying. He's not a very good liar at all.

So, I just said, "Well what I had planned for you last night is your loss!" Then I turned & walked away.
southernbelle93126 southernbelle93126 36-40, F 19 Responses Dec 28, 2012

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Boy I'm speechless about what he did

Wow you are so hot. Your profile has some great groups so that tells me you can be some pretty good fun. 20 years of being faithful and missing out on the real you. Call it over or go and get some good action on the side, start being the real person you are again.

WTH is wrong with married guys

AMEN!!!! That's what I'm talking about!!!!

I was in a sexless marriage and at nineteen. Years of age, one year was all I could take. I was SOO horny ************ felt so good. Soon I began to watch,(hubby's) ****. Most of it was lesbian movies. I began to enjoy the idea of being with a woman.Soon I was totally full of this lesbian desire. So wrong,it seemed, and weird! One day my attractive 36 yr old mother in law stopped by unnanounced, as twas ************. She came in, and noticed me wearing a black, lace corset. Mary annknew I hadbeenbeing naughty, and she coaxed me into smoking some meth. I became instantly in lusting desire yo be a bad woe. Mary annasked to kiss me, and I surrendered to my lesbian lust for he's sinful pleasure. Erica you want this, you beautiful *****!! Yes I do mother and I surrendered willingly to our forbidden pleasure. Oh mother( I loved sayin it),mother, I can't fight my desire anymore!! I want this..less promise not to tell anyone!! Yes my baby it's our secret,just between us. And she kissed me passionately ,our tongues plunging deep into each other's mouth. Oh mother thesis SOO wrong, kiss me again, don't stop mommy, please" we fell into the bed being lesbians, just like the ones in gregg's pornmovies. I came at least, 10 times moaning with pleasure so intense and forgotten.. oh mommy " I want you so bad!" " I love you ", I blurtedout as she tongued me so thoroughly. Yes my baby girl I love you too. You are mine now!! Yes my beautiful mommy I am your wife now!!

Belle if hubby don't give you what you need.Go out and seek it elsewhere.


P.S. If we lived closer I'd be available.

that is a real grimy suggestion. It is difficult to find people married for 20 years and it takes a lot of effort and compromise. But your reply was to meet up with you and have an affair. smh

2honest ..... You are definitely correct in saying A LOT of effort & compromise ;)

I'm convinced people just get tired of each other. I know how you feel, I sent my husband a naughty picture a couple of days ago while he was working, he replied "go to bed". And I checked his pictures the other day on his phone, he has not saved any pictures I've sent him.

There are alot of men out there who would love and appreciate those messages you speak of.... If said husbands knew how easily we could *or do* get the attention they fail to give us they might be more attentive.

no because men can do the same. You are right people get tired of the same scenario and that is why it is good to different things that seem fresh again. Life becomes routine. Go to work, eat at the same time, go home, shower, watch tv, eat dinner and sleep at the same time. I suggest do something different set up a date to just hangout try something new.

I've tried every trick in the book, bought all the toys, bought all the outfits, got out the toys, dressed up just to be ignored and turned down... Tried outside, different places... Tired of being the only one who tries.

I feel your pain. try writing a letter to him and place it somewhere where he will read it and tell him that if he doesn't change to save your marriage then you will have no choice but to stray and you will not have any control over it. Usually a man loves a challange especially when they feel what is theres has a chance to get away.

That is excellent advice.... I wish I had heard and acted on advice like this a long time ago before I did stray.... Before I found someone who is interested...

What was his has already gotten away, just hasn't left yet.

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Add me please.

And when's the next update??

How about right now ..... ;)

If only I had a partner like you...

My wife always got mad when I sent her erotic texts...

Mad?!? Why?!? Heck I would probably laugh out loud & blush ...... But if I had several hours to think about it ...... He better hold on when I ran thru those doors!!!!! ;D

I don't blame you, I would have too. If my women (up until this week) would have left me a message like that, I would have got the hint. I always told her when I was tired to wake me up in a bit, babe i'm tire WAKE ME UP IN A BIT, and she did. I would never do something like that. Oh, and I have had the text game played on me. Funny how people say oh my phone is messed up i didn't get the text, but if you send something rude they get it immediately right

Nice!!!!

Could he be having an affair...physical or emotional with another person?

Emotional maybe ..... Physical ummm a little hard with our schedules & kids especially when he has them in the afternoons when he gets off work.

You'd be surprised... If there is a will there is a way- sorry to say it

Talk it out with your husband peoples first conclusion is an affair when it just might be something he is going through, depression, feeling like he isn't worth it anymore etc. Best thing to do is acknowledge the problem and listen to what you both have to say without arguing. Come up with a refreshing solution.

Maybe he's gay. Or maybe he's just a frigid A-hole. I had no clue men like that existed...
Anyway, you're better without a guy like that. Being frigid is one thing, lying to your face like that is another.

Gay... No

A frigid Ahole YES!!! :D

The message(s) he is sending you are crystal clear.

The burden of choice is now squarely on you.

Tread your own path.

Yes, I know..... I'm not young & naive.....
But there are questions that need to be answered..... And he will answer them .... After all, I do deserve that!!!

Mistaken premise you are operating on. If he wishes to hide his truth, then hidden it shall stay. And, "deserve" has nothing to do with it.
If you are going to 'stay until you get the answers', then it is in his interests to ensure that the answers are not given.

In the end, the 'why' does not matter. The only card you have to play which changes everything is the 'leave' card. One can stay and keep circling for some 'answer' that will make sense for years and none will be forthcoming and you will keep experiencing your own painful groundhog day. One of the most difficult and yet important reality checks is the simple fact that your spouse cannot or does not love you the way you want or need to be loved.

SouthernBelle, If he gave you the answer and it was "I'm gay, that's why" what are your options? Stay, leave, outsource. If he gave you the answer and it was "I'm not attracted to you." what are your options? Stay, leave, outsource. If he gave you the answer and it was "I don't like sex, I don't like sex with you, I don't like you (pick one)" what are your options? Stay, leave, outsource. If he gave you the answer and it was "I was anally probed by aliens" what are your options? Stay, leave, outsource.

So asking the question why just leaves you chasing your tail when you should be asking if you want to stay, leave or outsource. And then do it.

I'm not staying ..... I'm staying to get my "ducks in a row". I'm not struggling again like I had to do in the past. While I'm here I will get answers though.....

I can take answers I might not like.... After all, I did pull up my big girl panties several years ago ....

What if he doesn't know why? What if he says he loves you and that he doesn't know / understand why you want more from him than he is giving you? What if he says you are the one with the problem - that you are "sex mad"??

You assume he is deliberately and intentionally choosing this behaviour for a known reason - but chances are GOOD that he hasno clue at all why he is the way he is . . .Or why you find it unacceptable!!

Actually, if you read all the other posts you would see that he DOES call me a nympho.

We starting dating when i was 19 We had an amazing sex life .... We had sex everyday sometimes 2 or 3xs a day. This lasted up until about 3 to 5 years ago.

He knows what he is doing. I have been with the man for 20 years.

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Actually, that scenario is a gain for him and a loss for you.

You feel rejected while he, more than likely, feels relieved to manuever out of the intimate engagement.

The hardest part of these dynamics is accepting that truth. So the problem is yours, and yours alone. He has abandoned you to deal with it. He does not want intimacy. And he will do anything to avoid it.

Eventually you will come to terms with that reality. Sorry.

This would make me think, "what else is he hiding?"....

Someone recently had a story on here that she finally went into the accounts and found her spouse was hiding A LOT in terms of financial mismanagement...

This type of lying... he's hiding many things. He's hidden many things. He just doesn't care enough about you to come clean.

Sorry to be blunt.

My goodness, SouthernBelle...not only will he not make love to you, he thinks you are blind and stupid too. To me, his response was highly insulting. People who are this averse are also highly resistant to change. Can you say DENIAL?? It is disrespectful to you.

-MR

I told him later on to make sure that I didn't read the text before he deleted the text :)

Good Job!

I have a similar problem with my wife but I am working through it. I wish there was an easy fix for this. I am very into my wife and enjoy being with her but I am emotionally and physically wiped out by days' end.

I am sorry Belle. Someone has to say it...

It wasn't his loss. He's intimacy-averse. He felt no loss at all. It has nothing to do with you, your desirability or your text. It's about him. It's his problem. I don't know why but I know it is true. So what next for you?

Nothing to add to this perfect answer.

You're right .....
I'm just going to keep on the same path.... I have a plan & I will make it work until the plan has been fulfilled.

Brilliant!!