1-year ContractSo. It being almost New Year it is time to talk openly about where we are going and what we want. So we did.
My husband has issues to overcome. Weight, depression, anxiety, alcoholism... So far he has come a long way. He is sober for 4 months already, he has come off all his psychiatric medication in the last year and he is willing to look at his weight/exercise/smoking. So there is some positive activity there.
I said to him that the last 2-3 years have been hell for me and my perception of our relationship is very damaged. I said I wanted to have a clear conversation and see where we are at. And we managed this.
We talked properly about what we want from our lives as individuals. We talked about what we want in a relationship. We talked about how to achieve these goals and we decided on a plan. This plan has 1-year to bear fruit. If in 1-year from now we are in the same place or worse we are getting divorced. The goal being that we will both be able to say that we have given our best and it is not enough, so we part in peace.
I see that there is the potential for this to work out. Its not going to be easy, but then nothing worthwhile ever is.
If it does not work I will walk away knowing that we both tried.
In the meantime I have enrolled in my University degree and am getting on with that anyway. If it does not work out with us I will already be one year closer to my own personal goals.
I am looking forward to the new year. I am going to train hard, eat healthy foods and work on my self as well as my relationship.