What's My Problem...calling Amateur Armchair PsychologistsI'm sure we've touched on this for myself and others, but I want to throw this out there for you guys to comment, as often there are new perspectives that help me get through...
I've had a few weeks off for the holidays, and instead of getting out there on dates, I've pretty much avoided any of that for the last little while.
To recap, I've been on a dating website for a couple months. At first all the attention was exhilarating and self-confidence boosting! And I met a couple of people for coffee/chatting, which was wonderful!
But nothing really CLICKED. And as life goes on, I feel myself going there less and less, getting more and more picky about responding to anyone on the site. Meeting people is hard - two kids, full time school, yet to find a good babysitter or have the cash for any of that. My life is in limbo - waiting for acceptance letters from school or job offers.
Although I continue to feel lonely at night in particular, I feel my life is also very full. And it's been years since I've had any sort of closeness; it's almost like it doesn't really exist, and why bother chasing it?
did anyone else have this period of not wanting to meet anyone, maybe it's an extension of not wanting to be rejected? I do have that fear, it is enormous.
I think too that I am very angry of myself and not trusting of myself. Look what my hormones got me into with this marriage! I fell hard for STBX, he was my first relationship. How can I trust my judgment again?
Is it just easier to continue to push people away? Are there some sort of seduction skills that I'm completely missing? Am I just not meeting the right person?
I did go to a party about a week ago, and the hostess, a good friend, told me a few people had asked if I was single! Yet not one of them came up to me to chat or indicate their interest...
I think I maybe just need time? Maybe I'm turning into a refuser...