It's A New Year...time To Own My Own Happiness
As I lay awake last night watching the old year end and a new year begin and looking over at my now snoring wife in the usual position of back turned to me I decided to grab my phone and see what the world is up to. I log into Facebook and see a self congratulatory post from my wife on loosing 22lbs and getting down to her pre-baby weight. To this I think wow...but you didn't do anything to achieve this you merely took the meds prescribed to address your seizures and luckily for you they have appetite suppression side affects. The I read further to see that 2013 goal is for you to grow a backbone. Then inspiration hits me...Me too!!! I'm done wishing and hoping for you to change. There will never be change because nothing in you feels you are a problem and in need of it. The ONLY thing I can actually truly effect is my own actions and thoughts. So I woke up early this AM and started cleaning out the basement to make room for me to move into it. I'm certainly not ready to give up on my family of 4 kids and I Will not loose out of being a constant in their lives but I will give up on having a marriage with you in the relational sense of the word. From this point on we will be partners in raising our kids. After that job is complete then we can be completely done. Now I am pondering the rules this new step will also bring. No longer will I have to sit and listen to you complain incessantly. No longer will I have to flatter your ego with compliments. I will do what I want when I choose to without needing to consult you. You will begin to feel the emotional starvation that I have felt for years along with the hopelessness of not being able to change it. Your control over my happiness and self worth is at an end. You have failed miserably as a wife and lover. Perhaps you can just be a decent mother.