I Live In A Sexless Marriage Due To Ed And Am Looking For A Way OutIt took me a long time to realize it, but I have finally some to the conclusion that I am impotent and there is little that can change it. Without appearing to feel sorry for myself, I have to admit that it is an awful state of existence.
I have been unable to perform with a partner since my teenage years. In fact, I have had this problem since the first time I had intimate contact with another person. Physically, I am able and completely healthy. I and in my early 40's, run 5 - 10 km's a day, lift 4 days a week and have the numbers of a 16 year old. I am attractive, educated and am well compensated. I get erections in the morning, and sometimes can become erect when ************, but only in certain contexts. I am not gay, I have an extremely high libido and desire just about every woman I meet.
The trouble is that I cannot have sex with them.
I was raised in an abusive household. I was never overtly sexually abused, but lived with parents who practiced a more insidiuous form of sexual abuse, to both each other and their children. I was raised in a household where needs were not met, and where asking for help and recognition was forbidden. I recognize that this may be the root of my problems. As sex is about asking something of someone else and connections, I realize that I am perhaps not equipped to do so.
I have been married twice and am currently married to a woman who doesn't quite understand the gravity of the problem. I have probably, in total, successfully had penetrative sex 10 times over a lifetime. I have fathered two children, though one ended in abortion. The other is now an adult.
Life with this condition is difficult. I live knowing that I can never connect with another person in totality. It's an isolating, lonely existence. While masculine attitudes toward sex are often fr
Looking at **** is a depressing experience. I mostly enjoy *********** where women are clearly enjoying themselves. Perhaps it's a substitute for a pleasure I can never have, but at the same time it is a constant reminder that I lack to ability to give a woman pleasure in this way.
Watching my peers, who seem to effortlessly go through the motions without thought or hesitation is equally depressing and humiliating. I envy them greatly.
I have been through counseling (and am now), have tried just about everything I could, but now I'm to the point where I'm about to give up. If I am to be this lonely for the rest of my existence, better to end it now than suffer any longer.
I have forced two women to suffer through sexless marriages. All of my girlfriends have left because of this. The present marriage looks like its falling through the cracks. I can't imagine trying again, but don't want to live alone for the rest of my life. I can't, in good conscience, ask another woman to sacrifice herself again.
If that seems like a message of suicide, it is. While I have no short term plans to follow through (so please don't send the authorities), I can't see many other long term solutions.
Note: I have been called a liar because of a previous post of my own sexual anxiety, which made no mention of erectile problems. Please understand that both posts are very sincere. If I had all the answers to my psychological problems, I wouldn't be needing to post here.
I mean no offense to everyone. Peace.