I Live In A Sexless Marriage Due To Ed And Am Looking For A Way Out

Instead of the drastic measure of a penile implant, why not first try the vacuum device?

You're gay but in denial.

It is obvious you are sincere. You posted what is a very painful issue with you & I commend you for having the courage & initiative to open up. I think there are several things you could still look into. First off, the fact that you're in counseling is wonderful, it shows an initiative on your part to change your condition. Please remember, that therapists are like spouses, not every counselor is right for every patient. Also, different counselors practice different methods of treatment. For both of the previous mentioned reasons, if you have seen the therapist for what you consider an adequate length of time with no real progress, I would recommend seeking out another one. Perhaps a psychiatrist (who can prescribe medications if needed) & one who is trained in sexual abuse & dysfunctions. Second, you said you were healthy, does that mean you've had your hormone levels checked? If not, I would recommended at the very least Thyroid & Testosterone levels be checked by your primary Dr. or an Endocrinologist (Dr. who specializes in hormonal issues). Because, impotency can be due to physical, psychological, hormonal, or a combination of these. There are medications & even surgical procedures that can help with ED.....Sorry if you have already looked into all this. I didn't see it in your post & just wanted to give your some different areas to look into. It sounds like you are depressed which a psychiatrist might treat you for (however, you'd want to be sure to get a medication that doesn't cause sexual dysfunction). I hope at least some of this helped. Please continue to look into this, you are very much aware of your problem & I think self-aware people have the best outcomes because they know their bodies & take the initiative to look into treatment.
**My husband also has ED but he changes the subject when it is brought up & takes no initiative in trying to change his situation** Good luck to you & please keep us posted. :)

I will never take you as a liar, I can feel you sincerity dripping from you words,and I also can feel you are really suffering, and you are lonely and that take me to think what a gigantic responsibility to be mother or father, because to love and protect a human being its not only provide for food and clothes and that long list of materialistic stuff in what our parenting got lost very often, our kids are carrying away our mistake and neglecting during their whole life and can be affected in all sort of ways, this is another example in how many difference shapes the abuse can be presented and how the damage can drag another people life if we don't cut the vicious circle. It is difficult to understand you problem, from the sexual point of view you are not fulfilled yourself, and you can not fulfilled the partner (wife) that you love, but the really bad part is that you are missing the soothing effect of make love and the sense of belong and connect in that level that make you believe you are loved and protected from all the evilness from the outside world. This is not about a physical act of fuc*k , you are physical healthy. So I think you have to work first that wall that is blocking you from fully perform but is psychological first, then physical I agree that hypnosis is the best to solved the problem deep down in you subconscious, and also to remember thing that you don't even know are affecting you cause you don't remember then, sometimes are isolated incidents, sometimes patrons that happens for a long time, but bring them to surface help you to fight them and overcome it. still looking dont give up, there solution outside for those that never get tired , will be bad days, but also good days and you happiness is completely worth the fight.

Dont feel bad about all these people on here ripping you. It is a tough bunch. My one lone post drew considerable fire so I feel your pain so to speak.

If you are having mental erection problems, what turns you on? What turns your wife on? Ever thought of setting her free to **** another guy? Maybe that's what you need. Embrace your sexual failure and try to turn it around into something exciting. Let the wife humiliate you. Serve her orally. Wait on her hand and foot but tell her you can deliver 90% of what she needs in a man and a marriage and that you fantasize about bringing in a surrogate for
tha other ten. Imam trying to make something like that happen in my life.

Anyway, you need to change the status quo

Suggestion? First off, do go see a urologist to doublecheck for physical problems...
Assuming there are none: try hypnotherapy...not just hypnotism, but see an actual certified-specialist hypnotherapist.
This clearly is making you utterly miserable. I urge you to try to find a solution for your own sake.

Okay, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt. It seemed to me you have psychological ED linked to the sexual trauma you suffered as a child. I heard about that condition before

Perhaps you should join this 'survivors' website for moral support

http://www.malesurvivor.org/

If everything else fails, Bazz's idea regarding penile implant is a brilliant long term solution.

I am loathe to touch this one as it is likely a shonk, however -

- if you can crack a fat in the morning, then the equipment is capable. What would happen if you got a penile implant (as used by some severe diabetics) so you could manually pump the old feller up on an as needs basis ?

Tread your own path.

I want to mention a couple of things of what you have written. First of all, you are certainly hurting, and I feel your pain. Frustrating all the way. It would be awful to be in this situation, and to have sexual desire that can't be fulfilled sounds like a kind of hell. The to have your relationship damaged further because your spouse is interested and you can't perform would be ego deflation at a high level. I feel your pain and express sorrow with you. It must feel horrible.

I have a question and suggestion. I have done a fair amount of reading on sexual addiction (because I tend to fall into this category for different reasons--AND I am not suggesting you are in this place, so don't read that into this!) and found something VERY interesting.

The use of p0rn and m*sturbation has grown exponentially in North America in that last two decades. Never before the advent of the internet has it been more available, and the fallout of this new social experiment--namely having sexual gratification at the click of a button and the stroke of a hand--has not been completely explored. But, one thing that is happening and has gotten the attention of clinical psychologist and mental/family health professionals is the parallel increase of ED problems, that include delayed ***********, partial erection to no erection problems, etc. Studies are showing that these problems are not happening to those with health problems--they are happening to those who USE.

There is a web site out there that has some pretty good info on this. It is called "yourbrainonp0rn.com" (put a letter in the place of the zero in this link. I don't know if this site will post it otherwise."

If you are able to get an erection in the morning,...or if you are able to ********* to p0rn and m*sturbation use,...you might be in the boat of a LOT of people. That web site will offer some information and help.

For a while I was really frightened because things down there were,...well, kindof limp most of the time. I was using,..and my body was doing exactly what that web site said would happen.

So, this is a suggestion that might or might not be helpful. Either way, I REALLY hope you can find some hope and a way to work through this. It sounds horribly difficult.

From your June 2011 story I REFUSE TO HAVE SEX (also published in the ILIASM forum at the same time of which you received 58 responses). "I will never have sex again. I am healthy and have a normal sex drive. I hate sex more than anything else, though. I am married and have not had any sexual contact for more than a year. Sex is evil, wrong and inhuman in my mind, though I am aware that the rest of the world does not agree with me. I don't know what to do about it. I have to live a secret life, no one, besides my wife, knows I am sexless, though even she does not know why.

Are there other people like me?"

In this story you posit that sex is evil. There is no mention of long term ED in this story.

Something ain't adding up on this gurg.

There are other way to satisfy a woman sexually. Communication and mutual understanding is the key. Am sure you may have gone through the talks. Since you mentioned you can get an erection, it's not physical ED but mental ED. Try the little blue pill for physical. For mental, seek therapy with your wife together. Get her involve and let her understand your issues. Gook luck!!