Engaged And SexlessHello all...
I can't believe I'm writing this but I'm hoping it'll help to share here because I can't talk to anyone else about it.
I have been in a relationship for about 2.5 years and we got engaged a few months ago.
When we first met the sex was great and frequent, in the last year we have had sex just once. I'm devastated.
I have discussed it with him numerous times to no avail. He says he doesn't know why he's lost interest in sex and his blood work came back as moderate testosterone levels but not enough to medicate for so I'm left thinking it's me. He assures me it's not me but the fact remains our sex life went from fantastic to zero and it's really starting to have an effect on my self esteem. I have always had a very active sexual appetite and have always been in healthy sexual relationships.
I find I have really sunk myself into my career now just to keep my mind off this elephant in the room. Easy to do, I'm a medical professional in emergency medicine, I require focus under stress and I do that very easily, however, in my down time I'm noticing I'm struggling. He is out of town on business a lot so when I'm home alone it's a hard void to fill. Yes I'm active and do many things, I do "live", however, it's the lack of intimacy that I'm very much missing. I'm 39, attractive, very positive and have a healthy libido, but I'm terrified I'm going down a road where I'm never going to have that passionate sex again.
He's amazingly supportive in my career. When he's home from work he makes my breakfast and packs my lunch for work. Does 101 thoughtful things for me and is attentive in every other way. I feel guilty even complaining here, he's great to me in so many ways. it's not as though he doesn't touch me, he always holds my hand, gives me hugs, rubs my back and runs me baths. He's great in so many ways and I love him. I just can't shake feeling "unattractive" because he completely avoids sex with me. No incident I'm aware of happened between us, he can offer no explanation. It's becoming very lonely....
1Angela 36-40, F 50 Responses 12 Jan 6, 2013