Sexless Funny

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..

Here’s how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story :
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

“What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

*** I know its old but thought I'd share from facebook :)

I know part of me was laughing and part of me sorta wanted to cry that sexlessness is so funny.

anyways, enjoy
darktippedrose darktippedrose
31-35, F
10 Responses Jan 6, 2013

LMAO...yes it is an oldie...but always funny

no problem

so sorry to hear he is like this. My wife would of been the same as your husband. We have been married almost 19 years and she acts like she is doing me a favor the 2 times a year we have sex.

yeah i know the feeling. my hubby probably thinks hes going through the motions, I think it can barely pass as sex

no connection. I'd rather **********

hope you pass by me too

Would love to help you in that department. A sexy lady should never been turned down.

if only that were true :D

It can be if you want

i don't cheat

Maybe you do not need to cheat,

haha, do I need it? umm, I'm religious so its debatable.

but either way I refuse to do it.

2 More Responses

you are great as u r living with this type of man !


Your hubby needs to wake up and smell the coffee!

haha funny, but thanx

Two blokes talking.

#1 asks - "Do you ever talk to your missus while you are having a root ?"
#2 (after thinking about it) replies - "only if there's a phone handy"

would be even funnier if I knew what a "root" is

I'm a deprived male, my wife would say how tired she is and not tonight. Not funny but true.

trust me I know what you mean

too bad I was not stand at the door are you would've been well ****** that night.

haha, thanx. unfortunately, my hubby's response would have been more like "whats gotten into you. this isn't like you" yep my hubby in a nutshell

Lol thanks!

no problem