Fridays

I love Friday afternoons. That's when I get to enjoy 30 minutes of making music with my gorgeous 44 year old (he looks about 34) music teacher. He's a man who notices what I'm wearing, what I'm saying and who gives me 100% of his attention. I talk, no engage with him in real conversation for a half hour once a week, which is about a half hour more than my husband speaks to me in an entire week.

Last week my teacher and I were having a conversation about exercise. He was sitting at the piano and suddenly he turned himself around so that the bench was between his legs and then he proceeded to do sit-ups. My eyes were filled with the beautiful movement of his masculine form and the outline of his manhood in his tight jeans. It took all of my strength to stop myself from straddling him and f*cking his brains out right then and there. I love Friday afternoons.

I hate Friday nights. I was sitting at my piano playing when my husband came home. He leaned over and gave me his obligatory peck. Damn, I looked good and I felt so good and I was so sexed-up from my music lesson earlier in the day; so I stood up, hugged my husband and gave him about 3 really soft and loving smooches. He cringed. I asked him point blank, "why aren't you attracted to me?" His response "I don't know, you are very, very pretty". That moment is etched in my memory forever. That's when my mind and heart shifted from hope to despair, from love to contempt and from us to me. I hate Friday nights.

How pathetically I drink the drops of attention from men like my music teacher. How pathetically I thirst for drops of attention from my husband.

Fridays suck.
long4in2mc long4in2mc
51-55, F
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

Last time out, you were debating whether to seek a divorce or give him another last chance.

It's a big call to move away from the default choice (of open ended last chances). Hopefully, you are getting your information together so when the time comes, you make a fully informed choice.
I am reading a sub text in this story that you are attempting to distract yourself from the main game here. I think you will find longer term, that once this genie got out of the bottle - when you first posted - there is no stuffing said genie back in.

Tread your own path.