Going PublicI need some of your thoughts to help me sort out my own.
For people I don't know and don't know me I'm a longtime lurker and 1-2 year poster here. Almost 2 years since ending the marriage. I've had a few short and medium term relationships and grown a lot since leaving an abusive marriage where we also didn't have sex.
I have been pretty active here and it has been quite influential in my development and growth. The support here has been phenomenal. I stick around to keep growing and to help others not as far in the process in the same way I was helped.
Lately there have been a few incidents that have happened that have made me consider going somewhat public with my activity here. Brother-in-law of a close friend miserable in a SM. In the past I've suggested people have the friend of a friend contact me and I'll send them a link. I'm very open and honest here. I really don't want my closest friend's to know all the very unfortunate details of my very sexless and very dysfunctional former marriage. It's not shame as much as its just not who I am anymore.
I've had a few of you EP buddies privately tell me you are surprised I ended up in an abusive marriage because I seem smart, capable etc. I'm a little afraid of the same reaction from those in real life too. And the raw honesty I share here just isn't something I normally share elsewhere.
Recently a friend asked for the link to this place for her BIL. Her sister is a 5-star refuser. This guy doesn't know me from a hole in the wall so I sent a link. I realized after I did that I've just opened the door for a lot of private thoughts to be discovered if my friend decides to look around. I'm honest enough that I'm discoveravble by people who know me.
I'm feeling a little unsure about this. I've already decided that I will share my stories with Thor before the next meetup if he comes with me. But how to explain how a person like me ended up in such an abusive situation? That's the question I'm stuck on. I suspect he will understand that it was a journey but it's been such a fresh journey I don't yet have clear reflections on it.
Changewilldoyougood 31-35, F 10 Responses 3 Jan 7, 2013