The VoidI've read several of the stories on this site and I see true strength in all of you that have left your sad and sexless relationships. I also read the stories written by those that are still, like myself, trapped in a miserable, sad, unfulfilling, and hollow sexless relationship. Stories of men and woman that stay with ungrateful and uncaring partners. Partners who we sacrifice and neglect our own needs for, just to save our relationship with them.
After sacrificing for years to make my wife happy, I feel as if I have not succeeded in accomplishing anything that she would consider meaningful enough to "reward" me with the love and affection I so desperately yearn for. I have given this woman everything I have and more. Yet, I ask for almost nothing in return. I have moved across the country for her career, I have paid for vacations, planned extravagant dates, and bought her everything she has ever asked for. So for my troubles and effort I get to lay in bed with a woman that tries her hardest to deny me the most intimate part of a loving partnership.
So I started asking myself, why?.
That's when I realized I'm not married to a person. I'm married to "the void". The void is not human, it has no understanding of needs other than its own. It is a bottomless pit of needs I have to fulfill. The void however cannot give back. It is empty, it is unable to return the love and care that has been given to it. On the rare occasion that the void can show even the slightest bit of consideration for another persons needs, it is a moment to be amazed by. On these rare occasions, the void will ensure that you appreciate and admire the little effort they have put forth. Because for the void that's as considerate as they can be. The void will take everything you have, but it will not be enough. The void will drain you of any sense of happiness and love for life that you ever had. The void can transform into whatever it needs to be in order to ensure that you continue providing them with what they need. If it suspects that you are coming to your senses, it will do what it must to keep you in the daze that is a sexless relationship. It will cloud your judgement with the memories of days past. Memories of happier times and the promise of there eventual return. The void is tricky, the void is a liar, the void is unfair. The void cannot love you as a person, only as a tool it needs for its own happiness.
The only way to stop the void's control over you and your happiness is to realize one thing. THE VOID NEEDS YOU. The void needs a caring and considerat partner in order to survive. The void is nothing for you and I no longer have any use for the nothingness of the void in my life.
Knightinbrokenarmor 26-30, M 20 Responses 13 Jan 8, 2013