How Much He's DeterioratedJust got off the phone with social workers who are involved because I contacted them and also through his pain management program. The questions they asked make me realize how much he's deteriorated. I feel terribly guilty, and I know that's not rational; more than that, though, I feel so very terribly sad, like I am mourning him already, the person he was. If he continues on this downward spiral, mostly not of his own making - just talking here about the physical ailments - he won't be independent for long.
Also outlines how much I need to get out. But my poor kids, they are going to be heartbroken to leave their dad. This will take a lifetime to sort through for them.
I understand, I really do, I am doing the right thing. In the long run. Right now, leaving someone so very sick, who is the father of my kids, who used to be the love of my life, to a not-very-bright future, to possibly travel across country or around the world, breaks my heart.
Sometimes there are no good paths. Just necessary ones.
zsuzsilowinger 36-40, F 10 Responses 10 Jan 8, 2013