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Living In A Sexless Marriage

As I read these posts,(I am in the same situation)It's too bad we can't start a new group for get togethers cause it sounds like most people if they were able to fill the void, might choose to stay where they are.

I am not talking about just getting laid and moving on, but being able find a partner who can put back the kissing and touching and oral (if that is what is needed) and know that someone is there for those days that the need is strongest. I would love to find that, and I could tolerate mu current situation better.
I want a woman who is responsive and enthusiastic and missing what I am. then maybe we both could feel we have some worth when the self esteem ahs been beaten down.
mandown mandown 61-65, M 7 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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When I read some of the replys it is apparent that some have not had the pleasure of this experience of being in a sexless marriage, I understand quite well how hard or easy it is to just walk away , I have done it twice before and walked away from 2 new houses both time just to get out of it, What I did learn is I will not do it again. I will remain here until I die and have resigned myself to the fact that .i will no longer put my self in the position to rebuuild it all from scratch , cause I chose to walk.
As far as the comment about self esteem, understand that this past year I went to the doctors and for treatments for a rare form of cancer 165 times(for blood work , chemo and various doctor visits) more than 40 chemo treatsments and lucky for me no serious side effects and doing quite well. All of if is because as the doctor said "MY ATTITUDE" yes i kept a great one through it all, and there were days the passion and intimacy would have gone a long way to shore that mood up even more, just to feel grounded, part of something real, a simple hand job, and maybe a little sex if the little guy happen to be working that week after treatment, just a little passion to bring that feeling of being indestructable cause my manly desires were just fulfilled. There was nothing, no compromise, not extra touching, no being allowed to touch her or perform oral or god forbid try to be inside. All great lessons learned, and a little bit more destruction to the relationship. I am tough and stubborn and on the oher side a true to heart romantic. I don't want to just get laid I want so spend hours looking at, touching , kissing , arousing a woman who in turn is responsive and enthusiastic back, to me that's what it's all about, and my comments about finding someone is because I know there are women out there in the same situation who can tolerate their current situation and don't want to change it
but like me would need and enjoy a day or 1/2 a day now and then just being the focus of attention and willing to give the same, Surprisingly the same people refusers would frown on it yet they created the situation and in some cases my even allow it.
It would just be nice to find that person, for the physical or emotional needs when one or the other needs it , even of it's one a few minute conversation to fill that void,
The best and most refreshing part being that when it hits really bad, there is someone to call and get together with and for those few hours be alive again, making the rest of it bearable, In my case it could be her menopause, and I think it was in the beginning, but when the woman you married goes from satisfying very desire you could ever have as a man, to nothing. I am not buying it and I am no longer playing whatever the game may be.
I have asked if the positions were reversed and I was the refuser , how would she react.
Still waiting for that answer, and it will be a tough one for her, because my wife is capable of luring any man astray (or at least used to be ) with the talent and a body and knowing how to use it to get what and where she wants. I know i was a victim, but now time will tell.
In closing so we can dispense what mught wb wrong with me for being married 3 times,
First Marriage: Too Young, all of friends were married or getting married so we probably should(two great kids out of it, and still best friends after 30 years)
Second marriage: both on the rebound, free spirits, raised my kids and her kids , just didn't work and we mutually ageed is was better to be apart, had great and better sex after.
Third Marriage: Found my soulmate and eye candy , every man's dream , satisfied every desire you could have , made love with body ,heart and soul. best friends, someone to grown old and die with, when thingd were good , it's like no other woman in he world existed for me. All you could hope for , imagine, desire and every time you made love to her the moment of release to me was given every ounce and drop of love inside me to her at that moment. I am done.

Ashely and adultfinder are a joke the same woman in 10 different places, Thye have a whole staff sitting back there answeing you, You saya word they trply back using the same word.
I am sure many manrried women woman have thought this way or do think this was too, cause his a great deal to do with loss ones self esteem, so in that respect i am guilty too, cause I want mine back .

<p>-----" not talking about just getting laid and moving on"</P><br />
<br />
<p>The what you are seeking is not sex, but intimacy. Because engaging in those other pair bonding behaviors (kissing, touching) generally means there is more than just getting laid.</P><br />
<br />
<p>And when you do that, you generally get attached. And when you get attached, then nothing is "simple" anymore. And when the connection grows then you realize that "all is not bar great the sex" in your current situation.</P><br />
<br />
<p>And in particular your age group - where there is less life behind you than more, you might want to reconsider solutions that only allow you to "tolerate your situation better".<br />
A permanent fix might serve you better.</P>

AshleyMadison

Also, in my experience baz is right. The desire to fill the void led me to examine my marriage more closely. The lack of sex was a symptom of his basic disregard for my needs. Not tolerable.

Whatever your problems are,i hope you can resolve it.But men are originally programmed to spread their seeds to almost whoever girl they see.If we are in mindless society,everyone want sex with everyone so consume the love you deserve :) I pray that i will have a very beautiful sexful marriage

It is an interesting concept, but is closely allied to that position often offered up by initial posters that - "everything is great bar the sex".

So at some level, you figure that if you could find the sex component, in or out of the marriage that - voila - there is the solution. Seems simple.

It isn't.

As you delve into your sexless marriage you inevitably find that the absence of sex is actually just a symptom of underlying dysfunction. Often, severe (as in dealbreaking) dysfunction.

The sex is the question here, not the answer.

Tread your own path.

Have you tried AdultFriendFinder?