My Wife Has A Weight Problem And Doesn't Care ?

This may seem to be very arrogant to many people, but here it is. When we married she wasn't a slim-jim but she was active and physically fit.
After two children she has become very obese. She's 5' 2" 250 lbs. There's three rolls of fat on the front of her. I'm sorry, but if you don't wish to care of yourself, eventually you'll burden someone else to do it for you. If she doesn't care about her well being then why should I continue to care about her.
An Ep User An EP User
7 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Tell her you're twice the woman you were when I marred you----- we'll then--- How big R U what R your imperfections --- work on yours& then tell her how much better you feel about what you're doing 4 yourself& then diet & workout with her she'll feel better About herself & even better about having someone to do it with

You say she doesn't care but most overweight people know full well they are overweight and it (negatively) affects them greatly. If you still think you have a future together then maybe you need to support, encourage and inspire her to become more healthy. Start cooking less fatty meals. Go for a family walk. Get an exercise bike. Do something to put yourselves on the right path.

Or plan your exit.

You should care because she is your wife and the mother of your child.

My take is not that you are arrogant .. but maybe short-sighted and selfish. Your post suggest you are interested in appearances, and what works for you. Can't tell from your short post if you have been encouraging, inspiring, loving to help your wife. A marriage is a partnership. If someone goes through rough waters, we don't leave the area and let them drown. Or maybe, some people do.

Question: Do you do physical things together any more, or have the kids put a damper on that? Have you changed at all? Are you super physical and she's not?

My guess is that there are a lot of issues that you are unhappy about, and the weight gain is just the visible part. Am I right? If so, then the weight gain is just a reflection of her her unhappiness. You know how it goes: you get depressed, you stop caring, then you stop being active, and start eating whatever. Before you know it, you don't look so hot, and the cycle continues. You look at her, and then aren't excited, and the cycle gets worse.

So my question to you is do you still love her enough to try and improve things, or have you given up and are looking to justify your decision?

FYI, I'm a visual person, so 250 on a 5'2" frame would be hard to take. Either I'd be taking her on a daily death march to become physically fit, or my decision to leave would be easy to make. It's you call, but I'd back any decision you make at this point.

This does come across as very shallow, and there is no back story to put it in context.

However, if you are in a "no fault" jurisdiction, you don't need a "good" reason to kick your spouse to the kerb, in fact you don't need any reason at all.

So why not see a lawyer in your jurisdiction and establish how such a move would pan out for you.

Then you can go and chase skinny chicks, and your missus may well be very happy that this whole thing is done with too.

Tread your own path.

yah baz!

There are several assumptions you have above.

The first is "if she doesn't care about her(self)..."

Not knowing enough of this situation, I can only tell you that there may be many reasons someone puts on weight, and only in some situations is it because they "don't care about themselves".

For example: sleepless nights with babies and toddlers can slow metabolism. New motherhood can put a dent into routines, like being physically active. Also, with pregnancy the body can change, for example thyroid conditions may be aggravated.

Emotionally a woman can suffer from post-partum depression, or there can be other emotional issues.

If, on the other hand, your wife simply decided to "give up" and sit in front of the TV eating bonbons all day, you have another problem. it may be emotional, but yes, she does need to get herself to a doctor and get checked out.

In the end only you can decide what you are willing to live with - for yourself. But I urge you, unless there are facts you are not telling us here, to be a little more kind in your approach. Because your story comes off very cold and unfeeling.

If the situation were reversed, and you were suffering from depression/weight gain, I would think you would expect your spouse to stick by you for at least the initial investigation.

I am speaking here as someone who gave up on THEIR marriage to a very ill spouse. I can also tell you that I found my EX to be sexy even when he put on 80 lb. But there were other issues.

like!! ++++++