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You Count Days.

Finally after waiting for one hour in bed ....she came.laying beside me .complete silence.no words.no talk.i make a move. give her a hugg."so how was he day?.....i asked."fine"..was the reply.i moved close to her.more i get close ...more her body gets stiff.kissing her forhead....her cheeks.....holding her hand as i hugg her tightly.she feals something growing big close to her body.but no response from other side.i dont loose hope.keaps on the good work.
i am thinking.....am i the one who wants it???but i still dont loose the hope.touching her here and there.as my hands slowly moves down . something inside me says this to me.....I ASLO WANT TO BE TOUCHED.
i wait for her to move.but she is still. and now finaly i am still too. "wat happened?"...i am asked by her.finaly i tell her....i dont know what mood you are in.atleast touch my neck or chest.....
AND THATS IT......she is silent . and after pause...tears are coming out from her eyes. ...thats the evidence that i am to be blamed...for being romantic.
"you mean to say i dont do anything?".....my mind shouts loud....YESS.YOUR A BORE.but i dont want to break her heart . so i simply stay silent.
i see every desire inside me going to dust.her plan worked again.FIGHT WHEN HE WANTS AND YOU DONT WANT.
i smile at her....and sleap.....
WHAT ELSE A LOYAL MARRIED MAN CAN DO??
deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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mate sounds like she is messing with you women love to do that dont let it get you down, here are a few ideas maybe u need to stick some barry white on get that girl in the mood u know what i mean, really liven thing up a bit dance round naked or jump out the wardrobe or somthing. or sleep with her best mate to make her jealous (mabe not) or do somthing really kinky like doing it in her parents bed when you go to visit an there out at the shops, or get her to pretend to be a hooker an pick her up on the street round the corner from your house, get her some sexy underwear for her birthday. u got to get out that safe zone blow her mind may be take her for a meal first tho before sweeten her up, If your doing that already then im not sure what to suggest

It is the expectation of being loved and receiving reciprocal treatment that leads to the bitterness and frustration. After awhile you will start to withdraw and no longer make the effort, the end of this path is indifference and this is enlightening in a sick kind of way. No expectations = indifference= less heartache.

I feel for you brother. Being denied access time and again gets so old. Some say communication is the key but when the subject of sex is the topic it creates arguement. I have gotten to the point where I choose to avoid the subject and deal with it in my own way. I love her but the loving is gone. I want loving! Yes, like you I want reciprocation. I have a lot to give I just want someone to give back.

-----"WHAT ELSE A LOYAL MARRIED MAN CAN DO?? "

How about taking a stand for what you need within the context of said marriage? And as an adult?

You are shouldering all the responsibilities of marriage anyway - might as well get something out of this deal.

You can start with figuring out what being married means, and then articulating that to your wife. The adult part comes in when you take that stand and are willing to pay the consequences of being that adult. That could be the demise of the marriage.

Because the technique you are using now is working beautifully for her, not so much for you.

This may not be the same as you, but I found that before meeting me, my wife was the type to just look cute and be a lure for sex. Basically she never had to put any effort before, so why now? She never developed any technique that might with occasionally being in control.

I think of sex as a team effort but sometimes you have a star player. When you have a star player sometimes the other team members get lazy. After all the team will win regardless of what you do.

I think you have to figure out a way to make your wife a star player. In my attempt to do so I told my wife to try sitting on me while naked and give me a hand job. I figured it the most rewarding thing for her with the least amount of effort. It's rewarding for her because it empowers her, its less intimidating for her performance wise, and give her a chance to be in the spot light.

This btw hasn't improved our frequency but it has helped the outlook and quality of our sex life. Just a thought.

What are you loyal to?

Thank you for your expression. I remember W being like a stuffed dummy, happy to receive but not to give.

And what does marriage mean to you? Have you got that? Have you got a wife?

Or are you a slave to some vision that does not exist, and being honorable to someone else's rules. I'm not suggesting acting badly, and you can act with integrity and loyalty which includes yourself.

This feels familiar although mine signals 'stiff, silent, unmoving' = carry on.
Vocal "no" = stop / I don't like that.

Sex is now very, erm, efficient when it happens. We kiss, we have intercourse. The foreplay is skipped. Sigh.

you said, efficient, does it mean you *** even thougth your wife doesnt want to have sex with you? if so, how does that makes you feel?

Mostly yes I do ******. Sometimes no.
She does enjoy it when we get down to it and she also can ****** most of the time. There's nothing biologically wrong with either of us. No medical issues.

She does exhibit some prudish behaviour though. She's very conscious of her vagina. No idea why though. It's totally normal.
No touching. No oral.
She doesn't like to make noise during sex to the extent of only breathing through her nose so as not to moan, unless she does ****** in which case she makes a (quite sweet) "oh oh oh" sound.
Lights off. Bed only. Covers on. Missionary only.

She's just not bothered about sex anymore. When she went from lover -> mother, she lost the lover side.