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Thankful For This Column

Here I am... rested fully, yet completely exhausted. Too many issues to deal with at once. However, I read your stories. Male and Female tales of the emptiness of being rejected. Days, months and even years of intimacy-less lives. I feel the support and friendship of you all. Strangely enough, I almost feel closer to you than the man I married nearly 24 yrs ago. It's open honest communication that builds relationships. Without it, we are merely strangers. With it, we are peers, able to empathize and support. 
I am thankful for you all. Thank you for sharing... This is life and we are all in it together.  Still exhausted... but I have faith I can win the battle. 
ExistsinHOPE ExistsinHOPE 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 12, 2013

Your Response


Welcome to the group we would love to quit. I cannot go what is commonly called home, deflate on the couch and say "I had a terrible day at work" because my wife has a comparable career, she never does that, and she thinks people that do are needy wimps and their parents did not bring them up tough enough. So what else do I have other than EP to call home?

Thank you.

One thing that has helped me is to make it very easy for myself to succeed. It's not then exhausting, it no longer becomes a battle. You can choose, and have let go of the outcome - and outcome you can often not control in any case.

And live.

Every time I log in and get the "welcome home" message - it does feel like home. Having people to relate to, read their stories and messages it does give hope. I've gone through much of my life thinking "it must be me". I realize that intimacy can become stale over the years but that is unfortunate. For me, it has been 13 years. Which I believe qualifies as "beyond unfortunate". In an obviously indirect way, I try to counsel my son on the importance of finding a woman that shares and enjoys a similar level of intimacy.

That was something I took for granted when marrying. Sooo much to my regret. Life has its ups and downs, but being able to share the most intimate level of physical and emotional contact - well there is nothing like it.

I assumed over the years our sexual imbalance would realign - I would become less interested. Unfortunately for me, that has not happened, if anything it has gone the other way. I actually found this site by researching the physical and "focus" issues and outcomes of a sexless life. There are days the frustrations are so high I can barely concentrate.

Well, I could go on, but it is comforting to know that there are others like us. And the really sad thing is - there are an equal number of our counterparts out there. People that just don't get the absolute pleasure - physical and emotional of laying aside your partner after an intimate encounter.

Sometimes I do lose hope, because I don't know how to communicate that since it seems so obvious and so basically human.

I wish you the best.