Bait And Switch?The other day the topic of a female friend of mine came up. My friend is a single mother and has been married several times. In many ways, she is like a sister to me. She's currently single and dating. Her figure is great, but in other respects, she is fairly average.
It was looking like a serious relationship was forming, so everyone was hopeful for her. A couple of months ago, my friend broke up with her boyfriend. Well, it turns out that she was dumped.
My wife speculated that the problem was that she revealed too much about herself while dating. She felt that my friend should keep her former marriages quiet, and not reveal too much.
My take was that you're better off representing yourself as you are. If you don't like something change it. Be honest while dating, and find someone who likes you for who you really are. While you may not want to showcase your dirty laundry, you don't want to be deceptive while dating either.
While this discussion was going on, it occurred to me that my wife's position was more along the lines of 'bait and switch'. That you should put on good appearances until you 'land' your husband. Almost like you were going fishing for a spouse.
So now I'm wondering if that's how I got here. Did my wife market herself while dating to be just what I wanted? Once committed, and a couple of children later, there's no point in keeping up the act. Then you see who they really are. My final question is, how do you know what someone is really like while dating? Are they being honest, or are they just selling you what you want to see?
R23Olympic 46-50, M 22 Responses 3 Jan 12, 2013