Exercise In A Sexless Marriage – Yet Another Dilemma!

While this is a true story, and one that I’m currently living, I share it simply because it makes me laugh and hope that it may lighten someone else’s day as well. Please take it at that – nothing more.

It is January 12th – 12 days into the New Year. Many of us make New Year’s resolutions. For me, this year was a resolution to get back to exercise. I’m not really out of shape – 6’ – 185 and still wearing a 33” jean – but you know how it goes from lack of activity – among other things you just feel a bit more grumpy.

So far – 12 days in all is good. 12 straight days of exercise each morning. One day an hour of cardio type exercise, the next an hour of strength training. It is amazing how effective exercise is and how responsive your body can be. All of the normal and expected benefits – better outlook on life, more energy, clothes fit better, more tone – all of it. Just one tiny little problem……..well – constantly horny. I can’t really believe I’m sharing this – but it is quite the dilemma in a sexless marriage.

I tend to look at sex as intimacy – the soft touch, warm embrace and things go from there. This condition is more – just physical need. As I say – it makes me laugh. (I’ve taken to lighting candles when I’m by myself.)

Has anyone else encountered this? It truly is a dilemma – continue to workout and deal with this, or stop working out, reduce the side effects but then get out of shape, grumpy and tired. Ah the challenges we deal with!

Have a great day!
boater12 boater12
51-55, M
6 Responses Jan 12, 2013

It's good to hear someone else confess to this side-effect of exercise. I've slacked off jogging in recent months, and have been avoiding it partly because it gets me too pumped up... the point was to bleed off excess energy, not to build up more! But I agree that the benefits are still worth it.

This is the gods way of saying you need to leave your wife

(atheist humour there)

It is interesting - I've been a member of this board/subgroup for a day now. In that span of time, total strangers, (except for our shared challenge), have cut right to the chase. The obvious is staring right at me. The only question - why does one stay?

"It's complicated" is my answer - but that is just an excuse. It is not fair to me or my wife to simply go through life constantly frustrated. Sometimes I think in the grand scheme of life with all of its problems and challenges I am essentially complaining that "I'm not getting enough". At one level that seems shallow, at another I think it has transcended my life.

I gave up trying many years ago. The net effect - I've been a frustrated guy with little hope. Yes, the answer and next step seems quite obvious. I appreciate everyone's feedback and will be around a bit as I sort through this.

Completely un-related issues I reckon.

1 - you have control over - your exercise regime
2 - you have no control over - your missus engagement level

Tread your own path.

My take on these feelings is that they are healthy and trying to tell us something important.

Something that is NOT saying have a **** and attempt to make those feelings go away, treating them as something unwelcome that should be got rid of. By all means **** as much as you like, and also please honor your feelings and figure out their message.

Which is, maybe, you're a healthy guy who wants a full relationship, one you do not have. What are you going to do?

Exercise=Extra motivation for transformation in all areas....

Please do continue exercising, but add some exercise to your palms, and you will be fine.