No Sex My Husband Thinks It's Normal

I've been married for 10 years. I've been so unhappy for so long it is seen by everyone and of course it us always my problem because I feel I have no one to talk to. My husband positively thinks it's normal at our age (52) to not have sex and gets mad whenever I bring it up. It effects me daily and my moods are all over the place.
Nevermoresex Nevermoresex
51-55
4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

well for a start you are not getting any sex and you are also at the point in your marriage where you cant talk to each other? on the outside looking in i would say that drastic change is whats needed and avoiding this is causing you more problems than i bet you are willing to mention! and my heart goes out to the both of you and there was a time you talked and loved each other so you need to get through to him and if that means you have to stand naked infront of him to get his attention then do it ha ha but seriously there must be a time when you started communicating each others needs so maybe ask him to engage in marriage counselling? if he dont want to know and as much as you love him you may have to face the fact he may not feel the same way? maybe he is depressed? so really you got two choices either carry on and be unhappy for the rest of your life or move on be unhappy for a while but oneday you will find someone and you never know it could be the best thing you done in a long time !! it was for me! and thankful i made my choice and moved on take care hope this helps!!

The "it's normal" argument is one of the most disreputable and irrelevant of any of the many ploys people use to self-justify to themselves, and try to manipulate you into acquiescence. He's also added the "getting mad defence" to blame you and inhibit you from raising it, again, disreputable in an adult (or any) conversation.

Your emotions are telling you something very important. Will you listen to them and act?

Stay here and read the stories. Better yet, have him read the stories written by women who are deprived, and how insane it makes them. Wonder what his reaction would be if he knew that nearly 100% of the people willing to talk about it agree with you, not him.

Oh he would never read anything concerning it. When I do bring the subject up he immediately mentions divorce. I love my husband and don't want a divorce just want the husband I married back.

Oh, he's so nice he threatens divorce too if you raise a legitimate need?

You may love your husband now, and not want a divorce.

That will likely change, and you are at higher risk from divorce already, that's not in your control.

i wrote the above reply after reading your post, i am writing this after reading the rest!! if i was you i would tell him ok on the divorce and start proceedings! this guy is a pig and trying to emotionaly black mail you and have some dignity and dont take his crap !! by the way i am a man and i would be ashamed of myself if i was him treating you this way and as a man i know what love is and could never treat someone i love this way!! and the people who are posting on here know it wont be easy for you but hope to send you more replies on your new post "DITCHED MY EX FOUND MY FREEDOM" ha ha take care x

It probably is completely normal. For your husband.

It does not follow that it is normal for the populance at large - or more specifically, YOU.

There is no back story to put this one into context, so I guess the question is - 'is this a dealbreaker for you ?'

Tread your own path.